By Laura Zarko ’26
Chameleons are animals who change their color depending on different factors such as light, temperature or emotions associated with anything that happens around them. They are frightened easily and very often are a target of predators. Chameleons are very small and harmless animals. However, these skills very often save their lives. It is weird to compare yourself to a chameleon but if you think about it, we function pretty much the same way. It is important to always stay yourself and don’t let other people affect the kind of person you want to be. But sometimes I find myself in situations where it’s hard to be myself. Many things go through my head. Should I fit in or should I be different? Should I be better or just let them take the lead? Sometimes I don’t even think. I just pretend to be someone else without even noticing it. How can I make them like me? That is the main question I used to ask myself. The question that was causing my duplicity and sometimes still is.
The last time I was asking myself this question, I was on a plane. It was August 27th and I was flying to Boston. It was the start of my year at Hebron Academy. I was alone on a plane flying to another continent where I didn’t know a soul. It was like that question was stuck in my head and it wouldn’t leave until there was something or someone to just make it disappear. Just like that word on the top of your tongue that you just can’t remember, that one embarrassing moment that you can’t get outside of your head. As we were landing the question started to get even more annoying. At this point it was getting crazy, jumping around my head not letting me think. When I first started talking to everyone at the airport I was
smiling, shaking hands and introducing myself. But as I started to get to know everyone, the question was taking over. I agreed to everything anyone said and never said what I thought. “I love rock music,” somebody said. “Me too!” I agreed even though I have never listened to a single rock song and rock was my absolute worst genre. I started to question whether I was doing the right thing by listening to the question because nobody really seemed to care that I loved rock music. They all just smiled. I thought maybe they would do the same if I told them I actually like classical music and pop. Maybe they would even ask questions and be interested in it. But what if they just thought I was weird for liking it. I didn’t want to take the risk of them not liking me, so I just stuck with being a rock music lover. The rest of the night at the airport I continued listening to the question and, in addition to being the rock music lover, I also became a Formula 1 fan, a poetry lover and my favorite color became brown. That one really hurt.
Later that night we were in the bus driving to the school. It was late at night and the drive was long. A lot of people were sleeping, but I was wide awake thinking about the question. I was sitting in the front part of the bus by myself looking outside at the night sky. My attention was caught by one of my favorite constellations, Cassiopeia. As I was looking at it I remembered how good it felt to think about something I truly love, which for me is astronomy. I got lost in my thoughts the second I looked up at the night sky and the thought of all of those things I said I liked and people I pretended to be that day made the question disappear just a little from my head. I realized I made some really good friends that day but if that friendship is based on a lie, then it doesn’t really mean much. However, even that realization didn’t make the question completely disappear from my head.
The question was there until one thought that came to my head. I thought of a chameleon. A chameleon changes its colors depending on its surroundings. That’s what I did that day. I changed my colors. I changed who I am so people wouldn’t think badly of me just
like a chameleon changes colors so it wouldn’t be eaten. The thought of that made me feel bad, like all the friends I made that day weren’t really my friends. But then I realized that even when a chameleon changes its color and you can’t see it, it is still there and it is still a chameleon. So even though I sometimes change who I am, even though I act differently in front of different people, I am still a human. A human that makes mistakes. And when I feel safe enough around those people, I will change my color back to the original one. I don’t think the question will ever completely disappear and that is okay. Humans are social creatures and being a part of a group is in human nature, so sometimes we simply do what seems the best in that moment even though we might regret it later. It is just important to remember that sometimes it’s okay to be a chameleon but it is never okay to lose your real color.