Weighed Down

Not only do soldiers carry a significant amount of physical weight like their food, water, tents, weapons amongst many other things but they also carry an immense amount of emotional weight. The Things They Carried written by Tim O’Brien is a collection of linked short stories that are based on his experiences fighting in the Vietnam War. Soldiers often felt very pressured to fight in the war but very few wanted to. The majority of the men that fought in the war were drafted in. None of them really wanted to be there they just went out of obligation. They were afraid to disappoint their friends and family by not being brave or masculine or patriotic enough to fight the war. Throughout the book, O’Brien pays special attention to what each character carries. The soldiers carry physical, tangible items as well as figurite things. O’Brien often discusses the most prominent emotions in the characters; guilt and shame.

Guilt causes many of the characters that are caused by guilt. Norman Bowker was a gentle, or as gentle a soldier can be. He feels pressure from his father to be the picture perfect soldier and obtain as many medals as he can. Norman won seven medals in Vietnam, including the Combat Infantryman’s Badge, the Air Medal, the Army Commendation Medal, the Bronze Star, and the Purple Heart. He thinks about his father’s pride in those badges and then recalls how he almost won the Silver Star but blew his chance. “The truth,” Norman Bowker would’ve said, “is I let the guy go” (O’Brien 127). After the war Bowker is unable to talk to anyone about the war. This is the truth that he’s never been able to talk about. He let go of Kiowa. Despite his seven other medals, none of them count to him because he didn’t save Kiowa from drowning in the sewage field. However, Norman Bowker doesn’t feel guilty because he wasn’t able to physically hold onto him; he let go because of the smell. He never ended up forgiving himself for this. The only time he tries to communicate his emotions on the war, he goes to O’Brien who fails him and he ends up killing himself since he was never able to find a way to cope with what he’s done. Norman Bowker isn’t the only one who feels guilty over Kiowa’s death. Jimmy Cross also carries this weight. “He had loved Martha more than his men, and as a consequence Lavender was now dead, and this was something he would have to carry like a stone in his stomach for the rest of the war” (O’Brien 42). It’s hard to say if Cross is being rational in this statement. On one hand there’s no way his love for a woman has any correlation whatsoever with one of his men dying. On the other hand, his was the commanding officer and it was his job that him and his men made it through the day and he failed and he could of very well been distracted by Martha which could of caused him to lose his concentration which could of caused Kiowa’s death. Whatever the case may be, Jimmy Cross will always carry this weight with him.

Not only do the characters experience guilt and shame before the war but these feelings follow them into the war. Much to his own shame, Curt Lemon faints during his dentist visit. This is a big deal because Lemon is the resident daredevil and adrenaline junkie of the group. He comes across as fearless. “He seemed a little dazed. Now and then we could hear him cussing, bawling himself out. Anyone else would’ve laughed it off, but for Curt Lemon it was too much. The embarrassment must’ve turned a screw in his head” (O’Brien 7).  Following this incident, Lemon is so infuriated and embarrassed with himself that he proceeds to yell at himself out loud and to prove to himself as well as his platoon that he is ‘man enough’ and brave enough he goes to the dentist’s tent in the middle of the night and he insists on getting a perfectly healthy tooth pulled. The shame of this event would have been too much for him to handle.

Many of the characters in this novel, are haunted by survivor’s guilt. “I feel guilty sometimes…..I guess she’s right: I should forget it. But the thing about remember is that you don’t forget” (O’Brien 33). When the author of the book’s daughter asks him to write about something other than the war he responds with this. He is unable to write about other subjects because it is how he copes with his guilt. We can see that O’Brien still feels guilty for something that happened years prior. When talking about his first kill, O’Brien still has vivid memories of what happened. “All i could do was gape at the fact of the young man’s body….Sometimes I forgive myself, other times I don’t” (O’Brien 128). He is still haunted by what he’s done. “There were many bodies, real bodies with real faces, but I was young then and I was afraid to look. And now, twenty years later, I’m left with faceless responsibility and faceless grief” (O’Brien 129). No matter how much time passes, all the characters as well as the author will carry an immense emotional weight for the rest of their lives.