American Literature (F)

“I love you Logan. Just keep your head down and get through school. You’ll be good, I know it’s tough.”

“I’ll always be one call away, whenever you need me, I’ll be there.”

“It’s really hard to be away from you.”

On August 28th, 2017, I boarded a plane from Los Angeles to Boston. I had left my house just before 3:00 A.M. to catch my flight that left at 6:00 A.M. I was in the backseat with my hockey bag over my lap with my brother in the front seat. My eyes were already stinging from the tears that were still threatening to fall since I had said goodbye to my two dogs ten minutes prior. The usual forty five minute drive felt like no time had passed at all. I remember listening to the playlist I had made specifically for this trip, naturally being mostly sad and depressing songs. I remember the soothing melodies of Pieces by Rob Thomas, Hold on by Chord Overstreet and Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE. I remember smelling the faint smell of coffee that my mom was sipping throughout the ride and the soft feminine voice coming from the navigation system. I would have given anything to hear the sound of my street name, to see the row of palm trees that line my driveway and to hear the sound of my dogs barking. I just wanted one more day of youth with no responsibility. Just one more day.

Every minute that passed, I felt my chest start to become tighter and I felt my heart rate picking up. The thought of leaving my family behind made my skin feel two sizes to small. We are a very close knit family, and leaving felt like I was violating an unwritten rule. I felt like I was abandoning them. My mom was coming with me to drop me off at school to move me in and get settled but my brother had to stay home and take care of things at home. My brother and I are a lot closer than the average siblings. Before leaving for school, the longest we have been separated was less than a week. My brother is four and a half years older than me, so you would think that the age gap alone would make it so that we weren’t close but that is not the case.

Growing up, my brother was more than happy to have me around even when he was with his friends. I always admired him. I even picked up hockey and lacrosse because I always wanted to be just like my big brother. My relationship with my brother was very complex. He had to step up and grow up at a very young age. At times he was a father figure, other times he was my protective older brother but above all he was always my best friend. Whenever my mom was away on business, I would be the one to cook and clean while he drove me around and made sure I got to where I needed to be. Sometimes it felt like I was the one taking care of him but we took care of each other. We make a good team. To this day, leaving him was one of the hardest things I have had to do.

It was rather cold for a typical day in Southern California, a brisk fifty degrees. I was standing curbside of the busy LAX terminal silently weeping as I walked into my brothers arms. As soon as I was enclosed in his arms, that’s when the real water works came. We were only going to be apart for three months, but at the time, it felt like forever. I was trying to memorize the way his arms felt around me, the way he smelt, the soft reassuring voice that was telling me everything was going to be alright. It was one of the very few times I’ve ever seen my brother cry. He’s always been the emotionally stable one, the one to comfort me and he always seems like he always has everything together. But that one moment in time, he needed me as much as I needed him.

Since I’ve been gone we Facetime about once a day and we text throughout the day. One of my biggest fears was the unraveling of the relationship we had built, but since I’ve been enrolled at Hebron Academy, we’ve only gotten closer. That doesn’t mean I don’t miss him with every ounce of my being because I most certainly do. When I found myself sitting on the plane with my head resting on the window with my headphones trying to tune out the world, that’s when I realized that I was wishing we could go back to before we started growing up, when the only thing we had to worry about was what was on Disney channel and when the next time we could go out and play street hockey. That’s when I knew that the summer was over.

James Truslow Adams was the first to popularize the idea of the American Dream, in his book The Epic of America. In The Epic of America, Adams describes the American dream as “that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement,” This description of the American Dream speaks directly about how the United States is that land in which you can gain everything you’ve desired through your ability to work hard. The American Dream is an idolized phrase and serves as hope for many people who don’t grow up wealthy.  Many low-class or middle-class people believe heavily in this American Dream and become dedicated to the idea of having everything they desire if they just work hard. When most people think about the American Dream, two words come to their mind: hard work and dedication. The American Dream is all about building oneself up from nothing in terms of money. The United States has a capitalist economy, less tied to aristocracy and class than other continents ;therefore, the American Dream can be accomplished by the gain of wealth through determination. In the novel The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, the main character, Jay Gatsby, is a driven young man from a low-class family who accomplishes the American Dream. Even though Jay Gatsby was a criminal, he is a perfect example of the American Dream because he still built himself up to achieve financial success.

Before Jay Gatsby was Jay Gatsby, he was James Gatz; a boy born into a poor farm family in North Dakota. James Gatz was a deeply ambitious and determined person who wanted to become successful. Gatz’ parents, “shiftless and unsuccessful farm people” were prime examples of what he did not want to become, so Gatz worked as a janitor to be able to pay and attend college (Fitzgerald 104). He thought that this would be a right step in the direction of his future glory, but after two weeks, Gatz leaves college because he is unwilling to sit around and let other people dictate his future of success. After Gatz leaves college, it is clear that he breaks away from his younger self “James Gatz”, a person who wants to be successful but is unsure how to dictate his own future. Dan Cody, a self-made millionaire is the reason Gatz turned into Gatsby. After Cody turned up in Little Girl Bay in his yacht, Gatz’s visions of successfulness were defined by wealthiness: “the yacht represented all the beauty and glamour in the world” (Fitzgerald 106). Gatz comprehension of how success was based on wealth, created Gatsby. Gatsby was a lot like Gatz but “sprang from his Platonic conception of himself” this formation into his ideal person was because he finally knew what he wanted out of being successful, which was money ( Fitzgerald 104).

After Gatsby’s name change and his defined goal that he wanted to be rich, he still did not know how to build himself up to be a self-made millionaire. Luckly, Dan Cody employed Gatsby as his apprentice and showed him the lavish lifestyle while also sophisticating and polishing his character. When Dan Cody passed away, he left 25,000 dollars to Gatsby but Cody’s second wife acquired this money instead of Gatsby by dubious legal means. Gatsby was then left penniless but with the knowledge of how the wealthy worked.  Many years after Cody’s death, Gatsby meet the love of his life, Daisy Fay before he headed off to Europe to fight in WWI in 1917. Daisy and Gatsby’s love was strong. The couple sent letters to each other over the course of the war, and as the war ended, Gatsby was able to attend Oxford University a very prestigious school for five months. However, Gatsby left Oxford University after receiving news Daisy would be marrying Tom Buchanan, a man of old money and high class. Gatsby then felt that he needed to be wealthy fast to compete with Tom and earn Daisy’s love back. Gatsby then set on the track of earning his money illegally.

When Gatsby returned to the United States in 1919, he made “gonnegtions” with businessmen like Meyer Wolfsheim. Wolfshiem gave Gatsby a job and with the passing of the Eighteenth Amendment occuring in 1920, the two of them became part of the underground organized crime of bootlegging. Through bootlegging and other illegal businesses, Gatsby made his fortune, and he made it fast: “It took me just three years to earn the money that bought it” (Fitzgerald 95). Gatsby’s ability to have bought his multi-millionaire dollar house in just three years from starting at nothing speaks to how Gatsby saw an opportunity to become rich and he took it. Though many will protest that Gatsby did not accomplish the American Dream because he earned his money illegally, there claim is false. Jay Gatsby is the living representation of the American Dream in Fitzgerald’s novel, because he was able to transform himself  by working harder and smarter. Gatsby was able to obtain milliones and never got caught while doing it because he was able to outsmart the police and government and to outwork these two takes a lot of effort and intelligence which Jay Gatsby had. Whether readers agree with his methods, Jay Gatsby still succeeded.

Although Gatsby accomplished the American Dream, he lost sight of his true self in a rush to get back to Daisy. Gatsby left a highly prestigious school which would have given him many legal opportunities to earn money; instead, he chose to go back to The United States in hopes of wooing Daisy away from her husband Tom. Gatsby then accumulated all his money illegally in urgency to show Daisy that he could give her everything she could ever want. Throughout the novel, Gatsby’s defined goal of becoming rich was his version of success. Gatsby felt that if he had the yacht like Cody and was able to live lavishly he would be happy, but after meeting Daisy, Gatsby’s whole perspective about success shifted. After finding out Daisy was marrying Tom Buchanan a man of high class, and old money, his goal shifted on gaining wealth to earn Daisy. Gatsby no longer cared about his own success like he once had and: “he revalued everything in his house according to the measure of response it drew from her well-loved eyes” (Fitzgerald 96). Gatsby possessions held no real relevance to him, and they were revalued to how Daisy saw them. The parties that were also held to marvel and impress Daisy were no longer hosted by Gatsby because Gatsby realized that theses immaculate parties were not her thing and that she did not understand them or the people.

Jay Gatsby worked himself up from being a poor farm boy with nothing. He polished his person, and took the opportunity to go The University of Oxford to continue improving himself by develop his education and earning a degree. This degree would allow him to earn lots of money that his parents never had, which was his success. However, Gatsby gave it up all so he could gain quick, illegal cash to show Daisy he could give her everything she could ever want and more. Gatsby’s goal was once the American Dream, and how being wealthy would make him happy, but after meeting Daisy, his success was focused on her. Gatsby earned all his wealth to impress her.  and still accomplished the American Dream because he worked hard to earn his money and built himself up. Even though he was not happy.

If the world were to end how would you react? Would you protect yourself and your loved ones at any cost or would you choose not to fight against the hopelessness? The Road by Cormac McCarthy depicts a man and his son in a post-apocalyptic world trying to navigate the desolate land of was once the United States to seek refuge on the coast. Throughout the book we get to see the father sacrificing everything to make sure his son survives, but he isn’t the boys only parent. His mother killed herself before her husband and son set out on their journey. Despite the fact that the young boy’s parents reacted completely different to the situation, they both have a profound love for their son.

The man’s sole purpose of life is to live so that his son can survive. The boy is too young to take care of himself and he heavily relies on his father for food, water and shelter. When the man and his wife are talking about the end of the world and how they are going to handle it she says, “the one thing I can tell you is that you won’t survive for yourself”(48 McCarthy). She criticized him for using their son as an excuse to live. The woman is extremely cynical and judges the man for his choices. She knows that the only reason the man would stay alive was so that their son can survive.  She argues that, “No, I’m speaking the truth. Sooner or later they will catch us and they will kill us. They will rape me. They’ll rape him. They are going to rape us and kill us and eat us and you wont face it… (93 McCarthy)”. The woman kills herself because she gives in to the despair. Unlike the man, she doesn’t have hope or faith that they will survive, she believes they are doomed and would only be living to survive which isn’t a life at all. She doesn’t kill herself because she doesn’t love her family, it’s because she could not bear to watch anything bad happen to them. At one point the man tells his wife that he can not do it alone and she responds with, “Then dont. I can’t help you. They say that women dream of danger to those in their care and men of danger to themselves. But I dont dream at all” (114 McCarthy). When the boy was born the woman refers to her heart being ripped out of her chest. The woman does not want to bring a baby into a dead world. There is no hope, there is no food: there’s nothing.. This speaks the theme of the futility of being alive on a planet that is no longer viable for human existence.

Throughout the story we see how much the man loves the boy. He often speaks of his son as a christ-like figure and even an angel sometimes. The boy represents the only hope in this world for the man and he would do anything in his power to do so. He found his purpose in his son. “And then later in the darkness: Can I ask you something? Yes. Of course you can. What would you do if I died? If you died I would want to die too. So you could be with me? Yes. So I could be with you. Okay.” (216 McCarthy). At one point in the book, the man contemplates if he could kill his son to prevent him from dying in a worse manner. “They lay listening. Can you do it? When the time comes? When the time comes there will be no time. Now is the time. Curse God and die. What if it doesnt fire? It has to fire. What if it doesnt fire? Could you crush that beloved skull with a rock? Is there such a being within you of which you know nothing? Can there be? Hold him in your arms. Just so. The soul is quick. Pull him toward you. Kiss him. Quickly” (172 McCarthy.) The man realizes that he may have to sacrifice what he loves most in the world for the greater good. The man shows his love for his son by taking care of him and providing him with everything he needs. “The father’s loving efforts to shepherd his son are made that much more wrenching by the unavailability of food, shelter, safety, companionship or hope in most places where they scavenge to subsist.” (Maslin) The love that the man has for his son makes it even more heartbreaking to watch them go through this struggle but it’s also comforting that faced with the worst fate, the man still has unconditional love for his child.

Despite the fact that each parent shows their love in completely different ways, they both love their son. His mother simply couldn’t watch her child go through absolute hell so she chose not to. She was realistic about what was going to happen to them. She realized that there was no way that they would all have a happy ending together. On the other hand, the man is more optimistic. He has faith that him and his son will survive, but to what extent? He was willing to put his son through terrible things even though he tried his best to conceal it from him, you can’t protect him from the world he lives in. In the end everything seemed to work out for the boy even though the man died, he found a family to provide him safety. Both of the boys parents love him despite the different ways they showed it in the book.

“The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us but those who win battles we know nothing about.”- Vernon Howard. From the beginning of time, I was always the kid who was never open about her problems. I consistently had a huge, bright smile that I used to put on even when my whole life was falling apart. My siblings and friends always thought that I was in no pain because of how happy I was around them. I always thought that being happy even when you’re sad makes your problems go away quicker than ever, and luckily, for the most part, it did. But being cheerful twenty four seven started making people around me think that I had no problems of my own and would be willing to listen to their struggles without any hesitations, so eventually, they came with all their problems and kept loading me with it.

As a kid, my mom always taught me to give more and expect less. This idea for me then meant to put others and their problems above anything else, even my own. Deep down inside I knew it was incorrect, but because no one was there for me during my difficult times, I felt the assigned duty to be there for anyone and everyone who needed comfort. As time went by, I not only carried problems of my own, but the world around me. There were moments in my life when I needed someone to comfort me; someone who would tell me that everything will be okay. It’s been seventeen years and I still haven’t encountered my life’s Aarti. Unfortunately, being the person who always gave advice to people for their struggles, people never knew how to respond to mine. When I was the one who was sad or upset and asked for help, people would either be surprised for not knowing what to do, or take it as a joke by saying: “You never have any problems in your life.” Eventually my bag of struggles would overload and little by little stat to fall apart. Trying to keep up with my own life, people around me didn’t stop. They kept pouring their own without any hesitation. My plate which was already full with my own troubles did not have any place for anyone else. Being the person I am, even in those worrisome times, I made place for everyone else. But no matter how hard my life happened to be, I kept on my wide smile and opened my heart for my people. Moreover, I kept helping others and threw my own problems behind the line for I thought that my struggles were nothing when compared to the ones people near me were facing. I was there for my sister when her best friend committed suicide, even though at the same time I was living my life in fear and depression; I pumped my best friend up when her heart was broken, even though I was facing low self esteem myself; I helped boost my friend’s self confidence when indeed I was going through my first heartbreak. Eventually, the job of designated listener never finished.

There was a point in my life where I thought my life meant nothing but was just a punching bag for people’s emotions and they valued me only for my personality of being there for them no matter what. Till to date, the selfless part of me deep down inside knows that if I stopped being there for people around me, they would fall apart but I never thought that I, myself, was falling apart and to be fair, in a much more faster rate. Even today people come to me and ask me how happy and cheerful I always am?  of the answer to that is simple yet very complicated: the things that I carry within myself are too hard to be poured out in and because I have no one to pour it out on, I have no other option than finding joy in those little things that give me hope to push myself each and every day. That same hope gives me a cause to wake up and be there for everyone no matter what goes inside of me. Because everyone needs that one person who won’t judge them and be there for them no matter what.

Imagine going 10, 20, 30, then suddenly 50 miles per hour, on snow, with long metal plates on your feet. Think about how amazing and exhilarating it is, the thrill of which even the fastest roller coasters never hit. No one can not put into words how incredible it is. It’s just you, no one else, no one to help you, no one to guide you, its just you and the thrill of getting down the mountain to seeing everyone cheer your name and clap for you. It makes me feel alive.

Sunday January 5th is the first meaningful race of the year. It’s the day where all my tensions are inflated and happiness becomes anxiety. I wake up, get dressed, pack my equipment together, and leave. We begin driving, and you can hear the skis and poles clashing together as we hit little ruts of snow in the road; my tensions increase. A nimble feeling takes over my body and begin to yawn. Yawning is my way of releasing nerves to help me get ready. What slowly appears in the distance is terrifying the enormous white mountains appear in the distance. I become frail and terrified. I walk out of the car with the scent of fresh coffee coming from my body. I open the trunk, grab my bag, throw my skis on my back, and walk to the competition center. I am greeted by all my friends and settle down. I am terrified. I get all my ski stuff ready and prepare for the race. I walk out of the competition center with my friends, grab my skis and hike up to the base of the lift. From the bottom of the lift in the distance I can see

the course. I am petrified. I get to the course and have to inspect it, I try to memorize and remember the course because I need to know what to expect when going down it. They do not let us go into the course; just allowed to slip down the side. After the inspection, I become less frail and scared. I take several deep breaths and smile; my friend looks at me and smiles, we are ready.

I head up to the top of the course, I take my skis off, take my jacket and snowpants off after, grab my poles, and click into my skis. I am determined and ready. I ski my way down to the starting gate, I get into the gate and look down the course. It’s like I am looking into a huge beast that is staring me in the eyes. I legitimately feel sick to my stomach, but I toughen up and get ready. I aggressively slam my skis on the snow many times. The clock begins to beep 3, 2, 1, GO. I have been hit with a massive bolt of lightning, and it wipes my feelings away. I go as fast as I can while hoping not to fall. I am flying and feel on top of the world. It is undoubtedly the greatest feeling in the world. I finish the course and the crowd claps profusely. I feel alive.

ME and MY MAA

  I have this recurring dream. I am sitting on the couch with warmth around me. My mother, my friend, the woman I adore, sitting next to me. I have this recurring dream. The moment I leave her sight, the warmth would be gone. I would be lost. I would never be found. I have this recurring dream. My mother, my friend, hugging me as she brings me back to life. The comforts she gives me; the love she ignites in me; her gentle gestures, her beautiful features, her joyous behaviour, complete me. She is my idol and she is indeed my home. My mother.

              Leaving my country was not easy. It was as if I was a soldier going to a a war, hugging my mother for the last time. As I packed my luggage and checked it for the last time, I turned around. The recurring dream of warmth surrounded me. I saw the glittering in her eyes. My mother’s eyes. The eyes did not blink, the tears hidden within them will never stop. I was going for a good reason, but at that moment I questioned myself: “How will I ever survive without seeing the freshness of this person every single day?” I questioned, I questioned, and I kept on questioning, when my father yelled from the dining hall, “Honey, you ready? The cab is here!” I paused. Both of our eyes were locked. Each of us waiting for the other one to drop the act and cry, cry until the emotions were gone. The sixteen years of my life were thrown at me like the huge tsunami that hit Nagasaki, Japan. I know I’ll miss my mother, but I had no idea that our goodbye were to be this heartbreaking.

The walk to the cab was the longest of all. My steps were trembling. I was falling apart. What I didn’t know was that I was not alone. The person who guided me through every single step of my life was having the hardest time of all. Seeing her daughter go far away from home, away from her dear self, was not easy. That was the moment that hit her, she started balling her eyes out and came running to me. She hugged me so tight that my breath was at a stop. Instantly I knew it was a goodbye. I hugged her shyingly. Like that kid who is embarrassed by her mother’s actions. Little did I know that the feeling of the hug was what where my home was.

              Since then, every single day for seven and a half months, I’ve been craving for that feeling, for my selfish self to feel the exact love and care that my mom delivered in the past sixteen years. Every morning when I wake up, I feel lonely. Lonely and sad. Lonely, sad, and depressed, for my mother, whose love I used to question and the fairness of her distribution of her love amongst all of my siblings. Calling her every night was different. Hugging her and sharing all of my problems were completely different. She was my friend. My only true friend. And I took that for granted. She was my friend, my mother, my home.

                On June third, when I heard, “Please fasten your seatbelt. We will be arriving in Mumbai soon”, made me clenched my fist. It’s been so long away from home that I forgot what my home was like. My recurring dream came back to me in pieces. Pieces that were hard to put together. I walked as slowly as I could towards the immigration check as I had tons of emotions floating inside my head trying to find their way. It was the longest I’ve ever been away from my family and that what made it even harder. The music by Ed Sheeran in my ears made it even worse:

“So you can keep me

Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans

Holding me closer ’til our eyes meet

You won’t ever be alone, wait for me to come home”

As the song finished, so did my journey. There they were. My family. Waiting for me. As I saw my mother and ran, it felt like an eternity. As soon as I hugged her, the warmthness made their way back. There it was. My everything. My home. My maa.

Nathan Scott vowed, “Someday this beach might wash away, the oceans may dry, the sun could dim but on that day, I’ll still be loving you. Always and forever. I promise you Haley.”

Has it ever happened to you that you start watching a high school drama and all of a sudden everything about you starts to change? The way you look at life, the way you treat others, and most importantly, the way you see yourself. One Tree Hill  is just like every other teen drama show but every time I watch it, a new side of me is born. I feel alive, and every time I watch Nathan Scott, I fall in love deeper than before. The impact of his character in me makes me want to find my Nathan Scott.

             Description of Nathan could be easy for some but for me, the feeling and impact is just unrealistic. He basically is that badass character in every other teen show who treats people like junk, gets into hundreds of flings with different women, ending up in hurting them without any regrets, and getting into so many fights that sometimes the people watching the show would consider questioning themselves, “Is he even for real?”  In the show Nathan is the only child of the richest man in town, which leads in him being a spoiled rat. Being the best basketball player in the whole town, he gets away with every other prank he plans. He is one of those characters which are indeed evil and bad but at the first instance of their entrance, we start rooting for them. Even though his personality was garbage, his deadly looks made my heart ache a little. The way he walked with his head held high, his attitude so strong that made others tremble with fear. His ignorance and humor is so attractive that makes me wonder if anyone else is ever born like him? His physique is something I lack in describing of; He has the sharpest jawline amongst all and something I’ve never seen before. The suit and tie he wore before games are incredible, flourishing his personality and wildness. The hotness he spreads while doing warm ups were unattainable. The first time I saw him in his basketball kit, I was literally jaw dropping with the only one thing on my mind: Oh My God… It was unreal to imagine how someone who inherits so many bad qualities can be so attractive and awesome that he instantly becomes your dream guy.

              While some hated him for being stupid, deep down inside I felt connected. People say you live in a fantasy if the popular guy falls in love with the nerd, as Nathan did in the show when he falls for the leading character, Haley James. It’s hard to see it in real life, but I believe in these fairy tales and seeing them together makes my believes even stronger. Through season one to nine, his character inherited so many new characteristics and eventually made him The Dream Boy of every teenager. He showed how it’s never too late to change and if you are willing to do so, you can be whoever you want to be. There were times when even the worst decision he made, made sense to me. I could someway or the other link to it. This feeling came to a point where when Haley left Nathan for her career, with him I hated her too. The emotions of the show were so strong that I felt I was in the show, feeling every moment of it.

               It is cheesy to say how I feel alive while watching the show and him, but it’s the story that is so realistic that it can bring back someone from the dead. Nathan’s dynamic character developed so much that at some point he considers leaving behind his dream of playing NBA just so Haley could go to her dream college. In today’s world can someone ever do this big selfless deed?

            Being a father at the age of seventeen when everyone else is having fun in high school takes courage and responsibility, but having it come from Nathan was shocking for the fans. I couldn’t believe that he not only took culpability for it, but also assured everyone that he was a changed man. That was the moment when I knew that I was in trouble. Big trouble.

            Nathan has taught me so much about life that the show and him made me both cry and laugh at times. Our connection is so robust that whenever something bad happens to him, I could feel the pain, and in good times, I am filled with love and joy. With him I have endured everything, whether if it’s first love, first heartbreak, dreams coming true, dreams getting crushed, having a family, marrying the person you love, and even death. One Tree Hill and Nathan has given me countless memories that I can never erase from my life.              Life never comes easy, you win some you lose some, it’s the hard times in which you fight back shows the real strength in you. One Tree Hill  has made me strong, Nathan has made me fall in love with my life. His character has shown me who my ideal soulmate should be and my search has long begun. It’s been fifteen years since the show was first aired and everytime I talk to someone who’ve watched the show, It feels only yesterday when he got into college, only yesterday when he made to the NBA team, only yesterday when he made his vow to haley about ‘Forever and Always’ and only yesterday when I fell for him.

In today’s world, we see and hear news around the world that makes us, as humans, lose faith in humanity. Long time back, Robert Browning said: “I see humans but no humanity” and shared his expression about the end of humanity in today’s world. Moreover, The Road by Cormac McCarthy portrays a journey of a father and a boy in a post- apocalypse world and their struggle in a world with no humanity. Although McCarthy illustrates a terrible world with humans but no humanity, just like Browning’s ideology, over the course of the novel, McCarthy finds himself contrasting his own ideas by portraying the boy as the human figure whose selfless actions makes it hard for McCarthy to demonstrate the brutal world and leads to bringing hope to both the man and readers. This contrast in portraying no humanity to humanity is what changes the readers’ knowledge about the father and son’s world and gives hope even in those terrible situations.

McCarthy from the start of the novel describes the unusual world the father and the son were living in. The earth is portrayed  as a haunted place with no where to go, no happiness, and no peace: “Nights dark beyond darkness and the days more gray each one than what had gone before. Like the onset of some cold glaucoma dimming away the world” (McCarthy 01).  In the post apocalypse world, the father discovers himself around darkness. The color gray symbolizes their surroundings and how everything is destroyed and getting worse day after day. The journey consisted of abandoned houses, roads, shops, and lives. There was nothing left to live for- except for each other, but there were times when there was no hope for living as well: “the city was burned. No signs of life. Cars in the street caked with ash, everything covered with ash and dust,” (McCarthy 12). Through the days, they feared for bad guys, but what scared them the most were darkness and loneliness. No matter where they went, they felt the need to be aware. The man remembers the old world and talks about how different it was from now, but he knows there will be a day when either him or the boy has to die, and while some days he does not want to think about death but most days during their struggle for survival, he feels like dying is their best option: “That goodluck might not be no such thing. There were few nights lying in the ark that he did not envy the dead” (McCarthy 230). As much as he wanted to protect his son and himself from the danger, the man knew that living in this world was a torture to oneself. Surviving everyday was a blessing but the father himself did not know what to trust. Some days he found himself questioning his decision of staying alive and wonders if  it would have been better if he had killed himself and the son with his wife rather than not trusting her about the world was his biggest mistake: “No, I am speaking the truth. Sooner or later they will catch us and kill us. They will rape us and kill us and eat us and you won’t face it. You’d rather wait for it to happen” (McCarthy 56). Being alone in the world with corpses and people who eat others was something that haunted both of them. They knew humanity was gone, but they never imagined a world so brutal that being alive was so disgusting. Everyday for them felt like a lifetime, but even in that lifetime both the father and the son were alone because they were so different from the remaining survivors: “behind them came wagons drawn by slaves in harness and piled with goods of war and after that the women, perhaps a dozen in number, some of them pregnant, and lastly a supplementary consort of catamites ill clothed against the cold and fitted in dog collars and yoked each to each” (McCarthy 92). The world they were in was so much different than the one the man was used to before. The father sensed they were not alone, but seeing people who did survive like that, made him wonder where humanity went. Furthermore, there were times when the father questioned himself and if he even have to live like a good man anymore? But because of his son, he was forced to be the good guy even in the bad days and because of their good deeds one can argue that they survived longer than anyone ever imagined.

From the beginning of the novel, the son has played an unique role in differentiating the difference between good guys and the bad guys. The boy often finds himself questioning his father about their actions and making sure that even in the world with no humanity, both him and his father are doing the right thing: “Are we still the good guys? He said. Yes. We’re still the good guys. And we always will be. Yes. we always will be. Okay” (McCarthy 77). The boy’s constant questioning about who they were in this world shows how small of the line was between being the good ones and being the bad ones. Somewhere, the boy knew that the situations they were in could change anyone but he did not want it to be them, especially after all they have been through together. Furthermore, the boy knows that they have to put themselves first and not care about others but because of his innocence being the major quality, he finds himself caring way too much for the others: “You’re not the only one who has to worry about everything. The boy said something but he couldn’t understand him. What? He said. He looked up, his wet and grimy face. Yes, I am, he said. I am the one” (McCarthy 259). The boy finds himself thinking about others no matter how hard he tries. In the novel, McCarthy more than once shines the connection of the boy being a spiritual figure, more like the son of God, and because of his selfless deeds, the man finds himself questioning his faith in humanity and if survival is the only thing necessary or being more of yourself is. Over the course of the novel, the boy gives readers hope through his innocence and act of selflessness. He states: “We would never eat anybody, would we? Cause we are the good guys. And we’re carrying the fire” (McCarthy 129). His questioning is more assurance to himself and to his father that it is not as difficult as they are assuming to do the right thing and even if both the father and the son feel like the world is falling apart they can be the good people and help others And because of the boy, the man finds peace in death and the boy finds peace with good people, which was all he ever wanted.

Moreover, McCarthy mentions death throughout the novel and emphasizes the scary part which death leads up to. The father, who gives up everything for his son, even takes up his own death, is what Fassler, identifies as the father’s selfless deed: “Reading this book around that time put me in a mindset that made me particularly vulnerable to the subject matter. The Road is ultimately about a father sacrificing everything for his son—keeping on and surviving despite a nightmare landscape, and only for his son’s sake. I felt plugged into that current in a way that I don’t know I would have if not a father” (Fassler). Fassler, being a father reboots the idea of the man pushing the idea of humanity by doing everything he can for his son, even dying. Overall, McCarthy does a great job in balancing between the larger themes of the novel and showing how different readers can take different road through the course of the novel just like William Kennedy states: “The overarching theme in McCarthy’s work has been the face-off of good and evil with evil invariably triumphant the bloodiest possible slaughter. Had this novel continued his pattern, that band of marching thugs would have been the focus” (Kennedy). This again supports the idea that the man and the son keeps fighting against the evil and being the good guys, and in their journey the man finds himself  giving up on humanity but because of the son, and his faith for humanity is what helps the man keeps finding peace and the son finding his journey towards the goodness with his fire.

WORK CITATION

Kennedy, William. “Left Behind.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 8 Oct. 2006, www.nytimes.com/2006/10/08/books/review/Kennedy.t.html.

Fassler, Joe. “Cormac McCarthy’s The Road May Have the Scariest Passage in All of Literature”. The Atlantic, 2019. Online. Internet. 20 May 2019. . Available: https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2013/05/cormac-mccarthys-i-the-road-i-may-have-the-scariest-passage-in-all-of-literature/275834/.
McCarthy, Cormac. The Road. pp. 7-200.

It is the year 3019 and almost a thousand years have gone by and nothing drastic has changed except for a huge lapse in the technology and the end of humanity. People around me have no hope left in mankind. I look around myself and I notice that people openly hate each other and no one is willing to help someone in need. It’s weird to think about it but the future is nothing like you would imagine, yet everything. Places are burnt down because of hatred; massive terrorist attacks were executed. Death is not as scary as people back in 2019 thought; Moreover, death is actually peace and only way to find peace is to die.

I believe there is hope in the end. I remember reading newspaper articles back from 2019 stating environmental concerns and how world will end sooner rather than latter. It’s funny to me how the world has not officially ended but the people living in it has. Waking up in the morning I realise I have no hope to get up because the world is not as pretty as it once was. It’s a beautiful place, you know. With rainbows and sunshines, but it’s not happy anymore. Money is happiness for some and the greediness inside them makes them do evil things. Certainly a part of me knows that happiness never comes from money, but indeed I find myself lost in between valuing money or friends and families. But this developed world we live in has lost all the motivation to find the happiness that lies within a community- amongst their loved ones. Moreover, technology has come a long way that the day to day lives of people has become a race for innovating the most significant technology. Ironically, back in the past people wanted to go and check out their future, but let me tell you: You would not want to live in the world I am at. It’s just painful to watch how inhuman we’ve all become and nothing really matters to us more than ourselves and money.  This is nothing what I imagined my future would be like, but at the same time I am not at all surprised. Even back then people valued things over emotions. People of the future are lost. No one is willing to help or ask for help. It’s embarrassing to seek help and more inhuman to provide help with. I would lie if I said that I love it in the future, but I were to also lie if I said I wasn’t surprised to what future brought to the man kind. It was on us that our future stinks so bad, and it’s on us that life is painful now. Year 3019 is everything like 2019, but nothing like it at all.

Surprisingly, the government is not applicable. It demolished when people took upon themselves to make decisions that would benefit them. If you hated someone, you could straight up shoot them. Yes, you read it right. Everyone was allowed to have the possession of guns and shooting someone was also okay. I firmly disagree with this idea but our amendment one from the constitution was taken away with our government and other natural rights. It is indeed like a living hell yet no one is willing to change anything. When I first saw all of this, I was taken aback by these events but now it seems normal and I hope it does to you too. If you could take anything from my experience, then take this: “It’s too late”. Humans are out of humanity and all you can do is accept it.

In a person’s life, their actions tend to define them. When looking at someone’s past, humans often prefer to ignore the situations in which that person was and instead decides to make an instant opinion about that person without considering their situation. Maggie, the protagonist from the Novel: Maggie, a girl on the Street, by Stephen Crane was indeed a tragic hero because of some poor choices she made in her life, leading to a huge downfall and a tragic end. While some may argue that she brought the tragic ending to herself, when considered her violent home, unstable family, drunk mom, and abusive brother, Maggie had no better choices than the ones she took, resulting in her tragic downfall.

Being just a teenager, Maggie saw hard parts of her life and had no say in any of it. She was helpless and weak. Coming from a violent family background, Maggie always feared the men. She was used to seeing her brother Jimmie fighting and coming with blood dripping from every part of his body. Both Jimmie and Maggie were victims of child abuse, especially Jimmie: “Here, you Jim, git up, now, while I belt yer life out, you damned disorderly brat.”(Father 8). But unlike Maggie, Jimmie had her little sister’s support and most importantly the presence, but whenever Maggie needed the same support from Jimmie, she was yelled at and sometime even beaten up. “Ah, what deh hell!” Cried Jimmie, “shut up er I’ll smack yer mout’ See?” [(Jimmie 10]. Growing up in a family like hers, she knew nothing about happiness. She lived her life in entire fear and going away from the day-to day violence was not an option for her. It were as if she had no life of her own.

Watching both her father and younger brother die was already hard enough for Maggie, but seeing her mother and brother fight was when Maggie lost her confidence in having a stable family as deep down inside she knew that nothing good was going to come out of all the hardships and sufferings she’s been through. “She(Mother) raised her arm and whirled her great fist at her son’s face. Maggie shrieked and ran into the other room. To her there came the final sound of a storm of crashed and curses” [Narrator 42]. Maggie needed a distraction for herself because of her terrible life and seeing Pete come as a guiding angel, who she believed loved and adored her, she thought of nothing else but going along with him and wherever he takes her. For once in her life she thought of having fun and enjoying a life she only dreamt about. Every decision she made when she was with Pete was for herself and for once in her life she did what Maggie felt like doing in order to please herself, only little did Maggie know that everything she did with Pete will result in her losing everything even the place that was hell but indeed her home.  

Watching fights, people getting drunk, blood and whatnot, one can say that Maggie did not have a life she deserved. Watching Pete come into her life and take her to places she’s never been before was definitely intriguing for Maggie. It was as if her meaningless life had some meaning. She, who was bounded by others was now living a life of her own. She was doing all the lavish things she once dreamed about. Being with Pete made her secure; moreover, she was having fun. “Maggie went to dance halls, theater and shows and always departed with raised spirits from these showing places wondering if her life had any meaning” [Narrator 39]. Going to places which only rich people went to, Maggie felt alive. She had no idea what she was getting into or how terrible Pete was, all she cared about at that moment was an urge of living. All the fame, attention, and love, gave her reasons to live. Even though her mother was not happy for her and knew it was going to end bad, Maggie was happy. “May Gawd curse her forever,” She shrieked. “May she eat nothin’ but stones and deh dirt in the street” [Marry 47]. One could argue that it was stupid for Maggie to go with Pete even when her mother tried to warn her, but considering that she was never loved by her mother, was it worth staying with the family, and one can even conclude an unstable family? Or for once just doing what she wished to do and let the results come as it may. Nevertheless, even though Maggie ended up in the hell(streets) because of Pete, she definitely enjoyed the limited time of love, joy, happiness and attention; Everything she knew she wouldn’t ever get if she stayed back home with her abusive family made her take those decisions. “The woman on the floor cursed. Jimmie was intent upon his bruised fore-arms. The girl cast a glance about the room filled with a chaotic mass of debris, and at the red, writhing body of her mother.. She went.” (Narrator 44). This miltonian scene where Maggie chooses to go with Pete rather than staying home and helping her drunk mom and beaten was the decision that lead to Maggie’s downfall as after that she was no longer allowed at her own house and was wholly dependent on Pete for her life. “Aye, she’ll git rid o deh life atter a while an’ den she’ll wanna be comin’ home, won’ she, deh beast! I’ll let ‘er in den, won’ I?” (Marry 60). Considering that Maggie tried to come back when she realised who Pete truly was and got nothing but embarrassment from that decision, she did indeed choose to become Maggie: the girl of the street.  

Maggie being the Protagonist and Tragic hero is no coincidence. In the course of the novel she made some questionable decisions but keeping it in mind that her other options were not great either, she went with the ones she found happiness into. Even though her period of happiness with Pete was short, it was delightful for her and no matter where the affair with Pete lead her, leaving that options and being stuck in her home was something that would’ve again brought pain and sorrow to Maggie. In the end, humans tend to choose the options that they think will benefit them the most, and so did Maggie no matter how it resulted in the end. Therefore, Maggie was our Tragic hero because of some decisions she made in her life to make herself happy leading to her tragic fall and a depressing yet heartbreaking ending.