Dear new Atwood residents,
Atwood has a very special place in my heart, and I don’t want you to screw it up. So here are some things that you should do to keep Atwood running strong. First and foremost, always give your opinion to Ms. G-L after she tells you to do something. You may end up getting in trouble, but the fact that you stood up for what you believed in is way more important than having your dorm parent be mad at you. Another thing about Ms. G-L, she LOVES shoes. She especially loves when you leave them outside your room. She may tell you that she is going to take them and that colleges will just throw away your shoes, but don’t mind her. If anything, it gets her to notice you and give you attention. Every teenager craves that, right?
Next up is Mr. Jennings. He lives on the third floor. Be careful of playing your music too loudly because Mr. Jennings is always into what’s hip. He will go to extremes like taking your phone and speaker away just to figure out what song you’re playing. It is a little weird that he doesn’t give them back right away and tells you to turn the volume down afterwards…
The last of the Atwood Faculty consists of Mr. and Mrs. Griggs. They have a dog named Reega. Feel free to steal her at any point and hold her hostage in your room. Reega doesn’t mind staying if you have treats, but Mr. Griggs seems to care. So if you’re going to feed Reega something that isn’t her food, just make sure Mr. and Mrs. Griggs don’t find out.
Finally, do not worry about being an underclassman. The upperclassmen don’t even know who lives in Atwood, so you can pull pranks and get away with them fairly easily. One thing you definitely don’t need to be weary about is doing something that will earn you a nickname. No matter what happens over the years, it will not go away. It’s like a leech that just does not go away.
Well, I hope this helps a little bit because Atwood is a nutty place.
Ben
This was my entry to the all school humor writing contest. It is a piece of satire and I was inspired to write this about my home, Atwood. Living in Atwood this year has been a lot of fun and I wanted to reflect that in this piece. I chose to focus on the dorm faculty because they play such a huge role in what makes Atwood so great.
This is a very interesting and didactic piece. I like the way you created humor with this essay. This essay also implicitly offers some advise to incoming freshmen. Atwood is a beautiful dorm where the principles of family and togetherness is bred.
Hi Ben, The way you used humor in this was very amusing. From being in Atwood standpoint it was easier for me to find it funny than your average reader.
This was very funny, even though I have no idea how Atwood works. Anyone who lives in a dorm can relate to the shoes part about Ms. G-L. I can hear your personal voice in this piece as it is very you.
Having partially lived in Atwood this year I can relate extremely easily to what you are talking about and completely understand the comedic elements of this piece.