And the Summer was Over…

Every little boy eventually turns into a man. Some say that this process change takes years for a boy to fully mature. I, if you want to say ‘changed into a man’, became who I am today by the failures and successes that I achieved throughout my life while taking care of my youngest brother, Tobias. As a kid I would run, and play all day without a care in the world that could bother me. As the years passed, I became more worrisome as a person. Why? Well, I began to think about my future. Things like death, the possibilities of traumatic accident happening to one of my family members that I truly love, and the fact that I had a bid part of the outcome of my youngest brother, and what he would turn into someday.

This all really hit me at once, so hard that I began feeling something that I had never felt before in my life; anxiety. I became anxious about everything that happened in my life, if Tobias fell on his hard on his head and I had something to do with it, or if a family member became ill, my mind would start stirring a million miles an hour as if the world was about to end. I took all these things to heart, and they affected me in a way that most young teens don’t feel. Most kids at that age are more worried about how they dress, if they will get the newest Iphone, or not.

But I didn’t change from boy into a young man when I would become nervous about my future and that of the those I cared about, but I truly changed when I learned how to deal with all these things that make up a moment in the occurrence called everyday life. As a kid you are living in a place where only your problems exist, and they often come out to be ‘I’m hungry’, ‘I’m thirsty’, ‘can my friend come over today’. Then, as you become older you realize that life is a gift that so many of us take for granted.

Let me give you an example. My youngest brother Tobias is 5 years old right now, and about three years ago, Tobias and I were playing on our stairs, hiding amongst the pillows that had been strewn across the carpeted stairway that lead to the top floor of our house. We were having a great time pretending to hide from ‘monsters’ that were trying to get us, but we would hide under the pillows as if it was a safe haven. At one point we were coming out from some of the pillows and I lost my balance trying to maneuver two year old Tobias and the big, brown pillows that were scattered along the steps. I began to fall and noticed that if I fell Tobias was going with me. I don’t have to tell about all the bad things that could have happened to Tobias if I didn’t catch Tobias on the way down the flight of stairs and protect his small and frail toddler body. But, I was lucky enough that as I was falling I grabbed him in mid air and I crunched us both into a ball so that I could be like a pillow for him. Just before we hit the harwood floor, I ducked my head and turned my body so that I would be the only one taking a beating. As I hit the floor it was as if the house shook, the noise created by the collision was so loud that it caused my grandmother to run up the stairs as fast as she could to see if we were alright. I said we were fine, which she believed because Tobias came out unscathed and he acted as if nothing happened. But it might had been the fact that I landed on my head, but I sat at the bottom of the stairs on the cool wood floors thinking of what could have happened to my two year old baby brother who could have been severely hurt in a way that would affect the rest of his life in a negative way. I was lucky and nothing happened to either of us, but this moment had changed my life. It changed the way that I think of people’s existence. I try to make sure that each and everyday I end on a good note with someone that I love because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I lost a family member or a friend after a fight or any kind of ugly moment that didn’t need to happen. Why? One day your Mom, or Dad, or Brother or Sister could be with you one day having the greatest day of a lifetime, and the next they could be gone forever.