To Prove
He was standing on the stage. The light fell on his eyes and reflected back. The laughter down the stage pierced into his ear, and his heart. He messed up the song, and everything.
He’s my roommate, a quiet, but capable boy, who was looked down by other people. Three months before our class started to prepare for the upcoming competition, and this was the first time for him to actually contribute to our class, which was a moment he was dreaming about. He volunteered to play piano for the song we chose to sing in the competition, and he was ready to show off his skills, which he had practiced for over eight years. The song was not hard, but it was hard to him. He wanted this opportunity so bad that he wanted to prove to everybody that he was capable of doing everything others can do, and he could even do it better.
The basketball court, where my roommate always went after school, missed him so much. He was in the art center every day, practicing everyday. I saw his fingers dancing on the keyboard, I saw his ability and determination. When he played the song during the rehearsal, I saw that his eyes never moved in other directions but stayed on the keyboard while other classmates were being nonchalant and lazy about the rehearsal and the upcoming competition. He did perfect on the rehearsal, and I really looked forward to his performance on the stage when it was time for our class to come up to the stage and sing in the competition.
Thirty minutes before the competition, it was time for us to go up and set up the stage for our performance. I went to find my roommate, and I saw the sweat on his forehead. I told him to not be so nervous, but he could not do it. When he stood on the stage and sat in front of the piano, the only thing I could see was the light reflected from his forehead. The song starts smoothly, but when a note that did not fit into this song passed through my ears, and with a series of notes following up, I knew that bad thing happened. I looked at him, his fingers were not dancing anymore, instead, they was wiping his eyes.
My roommate used to ask me: “Why people keeps undervaluing me?” I told him that probably that’s what humans are, and what the life is. This is not a movie, where the protagonist come out at the end proving everybody was wrong, proving everybody that he is better than they thought. Unfortunately, the people in reality, the life, is not what performed in a movie. You are not the protagonist in the movie. We sometimes just can not prove that everybody is wrong, even though we worked so hard for it. Although this was the best chance for him to prove himself, he just failed to prove how valuable he is to the people who keep undervaluing him. It’s not the end of the day, because no matter what happened, a gold will always be shiny. What you could do is to be yourself, keep working hard. Work for the people who cares about you, like your friends, your family, and the people who support you. These people are who truly knows how valuable you are. The people who keep undervaluing you? You don’t need to care about them.
The main character is my roommate when I was in China. I witnessed his hard work and also how nonchalant humans can be. They literally just ignored all the hard works my roommate had done and keep undervalue him. From that time I truly understand that you should work for the people who support you, not the people who undervalues you. You can never change their mind.
I like your narrative essay because you did great writting in third person. The emotions of your roommate are expressed gradually through your non-linear process. Your last paragraph concludes strongly on the lesson you learned from this experience, and your emotions are conveyed at the same time. Well-written piece.
Ying Qiao, the way you reworked the last paragraph is much more compelling and honest. It’s so good, and you don’t need to repeat your points to ensure our understanding. I hope your roommate took comfort in your kind words.
Ying Qiao, I think you did a great job with this non-linear essay. I like how the first paragraph throws us into the moment, and then we get an explanation after the moment. I wish you had jumped around in time multiple times.
I like how you describe the observation you made of your roommate so detailed and how you write about your feeling towards it. This is a really good piece!
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