The Impact of Mothers

“A mother is a person who by themselves does the work of twenty. For free.” In This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff and The Color of Water by James McBride we see a relationship between each man and his mother. Throughout each story the mothers switch from being strong to being weak, from being positive to being negative. In both This Boy’s Life and The Color of Water we see their mothers influence their lives in positive ways, negative ways, and by reflecting off of their own individual past.
Toby and James both had rough childhoods growing up that resulted in their life not always being the best, but by learning from their mothers they were able to have positive parts in their life. For example, in This Boy’s Life Tobias’s mother, Rosemary, teaches him to be kind and strong. As a mother she believes in him and never gives up on him even when he has messed up. This made a positive impact on Tobias’s life because he learned that he could be anything he wanted if he truly tried. In The Color of Water, Ruth is a white mother with twelve black children. Back in those days that was considered wrong and disturbing. This made a positive impact on James because he learned that there was nothing wrong with being different. His mother was strong and she took care of all her children without letting the gossip bother her. This showed James that he should be proud of the person he is and not let people change that. Although both mothers had positive impacts on their child’s lives there were also negative moments that made an impact on the boys’ lives as well.
A mother’s job is to protect her child from harm, but it is not always easy to keep a child’s life completely positive. In The Color of Water and This Boy’s Life we see their mothers fail at keeping their lives positive on multiple occasions. For example, Ruth, in The Color of Water is very strict with her kids which almost makes them afraid of her. Also her kids are often stared at when they are with her because of the color difference. Over time the kids start to move out because they can’t handle living with their mother anymore. Her past also leaves a negative impact on the kids because of how dark it is. Similarly in This Boy’s Life, Rosemary, leaves a negative impact on Tobias multiple times. At the beginning of the book we read about how she is trying to get away from a man by moving to a different state. “She thought it was good for me but beside the point for for herself, especially now that she was divorced and once again involved with Roy, the man she’d left Florida to get away from (Wolff 12).” This quote shows the negative impact Rosemary had on Tobias because of the fact that she went back to the man that she moved away from in the first place. This showed a sign of weakness which made Tobias feel helpless in a way that no one should. Rosemary continues to leave a negative impact on Tobias as the story goes on because of her choices of marrying Dwight, a nasty man, who was nasty to her son. She never stood up for him which resulted in Tobias acting out more and more as time went on.
Although both Ruth and Rosemary had positive and negative effects on their sons they also left impacts based on their own past. For example Rosemary went from being in a rich family to becoming dirt poor. However, she didn’t let this ruin her and in fact she used that to her advantage to show her kids that it wasn’t about the money but actually about the happiness. Similarly Ruth went from a good family to marrying a black man and being shunned by her whole family. However, just like Rosemary, Ruth, doesn’t let that ruin her life. The guidance that both Tobias and James received from their mothers shows us that being a mother is not always easy but as long as you show love and support your children will learn and become good people in the long run.