Over the course of my academic career at Hebron Academy, I have learned a great deal. A significant portion of what I learned was because of the tireless efforts of the exceptional teachers and illuminating classes that I was lucky enough to experience. However, regardless of how excellent the lectures I heard were or how effective the teachers’ methods, to find the respectable amount of academic success that I have had here I had to learn how to be able to further my understanding on my own. In the past three years here, I have discovered multiple little tricks and tips on how to do just that. Here I will share the three most important things that I have come to incorporate in my school routine that have helped me achieve academic success.
The first is something that might come as a surprise to some, as it is the exact opposite of what your parents, teachers and other responsible adults will tell you. In order to start your path to academic triumph you must stay up as late as possible. This will be hard to do at first and will not get any easier. As you fight off the poisonous urge to lay your head against your pillow and escape to weightless oblivion, your mind will start to clear itself and you will be able to reach new levels of understanding and be able to work much more efficiently and effectively. It will be difficult, but extremely beneficial in the long run.
The second most important thing you must do is skip breakfast whenever possible and occasionally skip lunch as well. You will begin to experience enhanced hunger. This will enable you to work much more quickly than ever before as your brain will receive the energy that would have been used to digest the food in your stomach. By skipping these meals, your brain will also be fueled by the need for fuel and be able to process and retain information much faster. To get the most out of this step, whenever you skip lunch, you should be doing work instead; on the other hand, you could also be doing the third key to academic success instead.
The third key is to play video games as often and for as long as you can, preferably on an Xbox One, but a PlayStation will work as well. Playing video games will help relax your mind and body so that you can perform at your maximum potential in the classroom. As you play the games, your subconscious will be going over the information you have learned and basically do your studying for you.
These three keys to academic success are very exclusive pieces of information that can help you become a great student. In order for them to work however, they must be followed religiously, otherwise you are just wasting your time.
I tried to be as ridiculous as possible while seeming genuinely serious. I think I did it pretty well. I think maybe I tailed off in the end as I was running out of good ideas.
Jack, I love the satire you employ here! I disagree with your reflection. The final line is the funniest part of the whole piece. Well done. The accompanying image is just right as well.
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