The Girl In The Poisoned Glitter Tutu

This story begins with a little girl with two pigtails, who dresses in tutus and colored striped tights. She had barely reached the age of eight, and was just beginning to control her emotions. This girl exploded with fury every time something did not go her way, and she was so capricious that even her parents could not stand her. She was just learning how to write her adventures in her dreams in German at school. She did not really have any friends due to her explosiveness and being terribly proud to dress up, she did not have any real friends at school. Everyone stayed away from her, and she was such a complainer that one day she made her German teacher so angry that her teacher nicknamed her “Dana Trickis Trickis” because that little girl complained for EVERYTHING. Although she really did not intend to be mean to people, getting angry all the time, and being proudly boastful, her behavior at the age of eight was exaggerated anyway. Unfortunately, due to her temper she did several things, including what I am about to tell you. That year of her life gave her several teachings. The eighth year of her life was like a darkness, a storm, which would devastate her entire relationship with her parents, including her grandmother, and especially her older brother.

It was May 2013, by then her brother had already spent almost a year since the accident that he suffered throughout his body during the previous summer. A year before during June 2012, he ran through a glass door causing the entire door to break, and eventually the glass cut her brother’s entire left knee and his hands, and he had several medium cuts around his entire body. That little girl was present when her brother went through all that, and I can tell how her brother’s knee bone could be seen, and how the rest of the knee was lying on the ground. Although at that time that girl was devastated by what had happened to her brother, and she suffered a lot until she was able to see him two days after several reconstructive surgeries on her brother’s knee and hands, the girl returned to smile at the world. It is ironic honestly, because this demonstration of the little girl’s love with respect to her brother would change in the course of the year until May 2013. 

Due to the accident that her brother had suffered, no one in her family was sure if her brother would be able to return to walking. At first the little girl was very distressed by her brother, and she gave him affection on his knee. But in months she fell into the pit of despair, and she felt envy for her brother. Obviously because of her brother’s terrible accident, her parents were very worried about him. They took him to therapies every day, they took him to new doctors to find alternative therapies, and they had to pay a lot of attention to his mental health because he was very depressed from not exercising. I remember that he was the best in his level of Olympic gymnastics. I even remember that he said that he wanted to become the best. After the accident EVERYTHING changed. Obviously my parents, especially my mother, spent much of their time taking care of my brother, and trying to cheer him up. But as the months went by, it began to seem to that girl that it was not right that her parents did not pay the same attention to her. If I could turn back the past, I would NEVER have thought like that. On the contrary, I would have been proud of how dedicated my parents were, how much they care about their children, and how much love they can show. To date they prove it. But back then that girl, blinded by envy, she began to hate her brother; she demanded everything, she did not like him, and for answering her brother in a bad way, her parents obviously corrected her, and that made the girl think even more that her parents only looked out for him, and that they left her alone. 

By May, she had had enough, and her brother had become her worst enemy. She wanted him to disappear from the face of the Earth. She could not take it anymore. She sometimes went to her grandmother for comfort her, but her grandmother told her that her parents loved them both in the same way, and that although they were spending more time with her brother at the moment, it was for the simple fact that they were completely worried about her brother since they did not even know if he was going to be able to walk again, or do what he liked the most, play soccer, and go to his Olympic Gymnastics competitions. Now that the years have passed, if only I could tell that little girl with pigtails that her parents never neglected her, that they were always attentive to her, and even if they had more commitments with her brother, it was because he had had an accident and not for anything else. 

Summer was approaching, and at the end of May. After a long day at the elementary school of the Alexander von Humboldt German School, the brother brought donuts for everyone on the school bus since his birthday was approaching. The girl had already received a glazed donut from her brother but wanted one more. Since there was only one donut left, and her brother had not eaten a single donut, the brother wanted to eat it because at the end of the day he was the one being celebrated, and he had decided so nobly to first give donuts to everyone else. 

Since she, that little girl, me, was desperate, and she could not take it anymore, she yelled at her brother in front of everyone, and began to demand why he did not give her the last donut. The brother, still as cute as ever, told her kindly and with great tenderness that he wanted to at least eat a donut. At that moment, the girl exploded, and all the pink highlights on her tutu turned to darkness. Out of rage, she grabbed the bus belt and hit her brother on the knee.

I think of this part of the story and my heart sinks. The brother, for being so brave, resisted the urge to cry, and did not even say a word to his little sister. By the time we got to our house, my brother burst into tears, and I could feel how much his knee hurt. At that moment, the girl could feel the suffering of her brother, and she knew that there was no remedy, and that she had to face the consequences. 

After a few minutes my brother told between tears what had just happened, and I broke out in the worst tears that I have ever had. My parents obviously talked to me, yes they scolded me, and in the end they told me that they loved me. Honestly now that I think about it, I did deserve all kinds of scolding from my parents. Even my grandmother, who had NEVER seen her angry, scolded me. 

When they told me they loved me, that is when my life came back in color, and that is when I realized that I had to apologize to my brother, and tell him how much I loved him, and how grateful I was to God, that He gave him a second chance after the accident. 

I remember that when I went to his room, he had a swollen knee, it hurt a lot, and I was very sad about what had just happened. I walked in and said “Can you forgive me please?” and instantly my brother told me that yes, no matter why I had done it, that he loved me with all his heart. That feeling has been the most beautiful and the most healing I have ever felt. 

Fortunately, although he did evidently regress in his therapy to be able to wean himself off the splint and crutches, I did not spoil much of his progress in his recovery. That afternoon, I had not only undoubtedly and irreparably damaged my parents, my grandmother, and my brother, but also myself. For eleven months I let myself be poisoned by envy, and I hurt myself so much. From that moment on, my brother became my best friend, and  my confidante. He is currently studying mechanical engineering at the best university in Germany in Munich, so he is my role model. Also, since I know that I want to study Medicine, he is part of my drive, my engine to move forward, to get good grades just like he does, to be responsible and persevering like him, and above all to pursue my dreams and never give up. 

I have to say that I think that before I was not ready to tell this story, but over time I have matured, and although that situation has been my worst sin, now I can say very happily and proudly that my brother is the light of my life. I have not met a nobler and more affectionate person than him. He is my inspiration, and although we live 10,000 km away, that does not prevent us from writing to each other, talking to comfort each other, and showing each other all our love every day of our lives.

“The people that you love the most, are also the people that you hurt the most.”