As the plane accelerated, Aaron felt a push on his back. A push that is going to take him further away from his home, a push that is going to take him to the place he has been wanting to go. Slowly, it took off. Eighteen hours had gone by in the blind of an eye. After landing in Boston, Aaron has set his feet on the land of New England again.
It has been a year since the last time Aaron stood in the Hebron Academy Campus. A year under a special circumstance. It is going to be hard going through all this without his parents but he was prepared. The closer it gets to Hebron, the more exciting Aaron gets. He felt like he got closer by every tree that he passed. Over one hill, no sights of Hebron, Over another hill, still no sights of Hebron. When it was almost there, Aaron got so excited that his hands were shaking. He found himself not being able to sit still.
Finally, here it is. Around a corner, the building of Lepage ran into Aaron’s eyes. A rock that had been swinging in Aaron’s heart had dropped. As he stepped out of the car, a familiar breeze of air touched Aaron’s face. The Sturtevant Dorm was right in front of him. Looking in the opposite direction, his old dorm Atwood appeared. The left and right of it are the School Building and the Gym. Once again, he was surrounded by these places again. Those are the places that carried so many memories.
“A rock that had been swinging in Aaron’s heart had dropped. As he stepped out of the car, a familiar breeze of air touched Aaron’s face.”
When he opened the door, a face that is extremely familiar to Aaron greeted him. It was Frankie. “So it has really been a year huh?” Frankie said, with a joking tone. He stood up to fistbump Aaron even though Frankie was in the middle of a class. Aaron’s feeling of happiness can not be described easily, it is the feeling of meeting one’s best friend after a long time.
They carried all of the luggages up. Having traveled for more than a day, Aaron is exhausted. Thinking about the broken laundry machine; the basketball hoop without a net; the hundreds of stairs just to get up to the room. None of this is perfect, but that is what makes this place so unique and special to Aaron. Although things had definitely changed. Nonetheless, even Mr. Falconer grew a mustache.
Looking at all the boxes waiting to be unpacked. A feeling of being overwhelmed rushed to Aaron’s head. He started to miss his parents.
Writing about myself in a third person perspective is definitely very weird for me. I think I could have done a better job if I had not write about a topic that I have been thinking about writing in first person perspective. I think that a lot of the story is meant to be in first person.
Aaron, this is a very powerful narrative and it very much encapsulates all of our sentiments of returning students on campus. I do feel that the rhythm of your writing through lacks a diversity in sentences and a pairing of longer sentences with the exting shorter one would make for a more engaging text. The metaphor employed of the rock dropping very clearly reflects a feeling we feel every time we step foot on campus. Seeing how effectively this portrayed yours and my emotions more metaphors and stylistic devices like imagery and other descriptions would have made this text much more touching and would make a more effective encapsulation of all of our senses. Otherwise, very well done.