Envy

To be envious is to be jealous of someone else because they have something or look a certain way that you don’t. To most people, they don’t believe that envy is a sin; however, those people have never been more wrong. When I stepped onto campus for the first time my freshman year I knew that it wouldn’t be easy. I knew that the other kids here had more money than me; more stuff than I would ever have. As I started my freshman year I braced myself for these things in the hope that I wouldn’t get jealous of these other people. However, after a week of walking by all of the upper class men and seeing all the expensive shoes, clothes, and bags, I started to get the feeling that I didn’t belong at Hebron. I wanted the $300 dresses and the $100 shoes, but I knew that would never happen. I started to resent the other girls because they had nicer clothes and shoes than me.
I remember one day in particular when I walked into my order class confident for the first time because my mom had gotten me a new dress from Vineyard Vines. For once I had something on that was just as expensive as everyone else. However, a girl came up to me and said, “What are you wearing? That’s so ugly.” I looked down at the dress that my mom had bought special for me and the tears started to drip down my face. As I ran into the bathroom I could hear the snickering of the girls behind me. That night when I got home I ran into my mother’s arms and sobbed again. I was ready to leave the school because I believed that I didn’t belong there. Although I was ready to quit, my mother was able to change my mind and make me go back the next day. When I walked into class I kept my head high and did not pay attention to the people who had felt the need to hurt me. As I continued through my freshman year of high school I didn’t let that one moment hold me back. I learned that I shouldn’t be jealous or envious of the girls at school because underneath all their fancy clothes there’s insecurity and jealousy as well.
Envy is not always classified as a sin, but to me envy is the one of the biggest sins out there because of how it could ruin a person. Instead of being envious of someone for their looks or other features you should spend time making yourself the person you want to be. What I saw as a freshman was lots of people I thought I wanted to be because of what they had. However, what I learned is that even though people act like they have everything they really don’t. I may not have the nicest clothes or the nicest car, but at least I am a nice individual and I’m proud of the person I have become.
Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to other people. Learn to be you, and not be envy because it make you do ugly things as well as become ugly things. I still sin everyday because I am still envious of people every day, but I’m teaching myself to be happy in my own skin because it is the healthiest. You can’t stop sinning in just a day; it takes time and effort. Envy is a sin, and I’m learning to fight it head on.