American Literature (C) Portfolio

“All I’m trying to do is survive and make good out of the dirty, nasty, unbelievable lifestyle that they gave me.” ―Tupac Shakur

In the novella, “Maggie: A Girl of the Streets”, written by Steven Crane, there are two characters that define the lifestyle of women who grew up in impoverished areas during the early 1900s. Through these two characters, Crane portrays to his audience what it took for most women to escape these areas that they were born into.

As a reader we can understand that Nellie, a character in the novella, is the exact opposite of Maggie, the main character, even though the two come from the same background life. Nellie is wealthy, powerful, and confident; where as, Maggie is meek and powerless, which often allows her future to be determined by the actions of others around her.

We can depict how Nellie serves as a foil for the main character Maggie through their interactions with Pete. Maggie’s first love is Pete. She follows him everywhere and is absolutely mesmerized by him and everything he does; she feels safe behind his powerful fists, and believes that he is her world and her everything. “Her life was Pete’s and she considered him worthy of the charge” (Crane, 58). This differs from the way Nellie interacts and treats Pete. Nellie is a gold-digger, and that is how she has become as wealthy and rich as she is now. She plays Pete and takes all of his money and then leaves him. “She laughed. “What a damn fool,” she said, and went” (Crane, 86). This shows us that Nellie was Pete’s world and controlled every move he made, where as Pete took advantage of Maggie and crushed her dreams because he was her world.

Crane uses Nellie’s personality traits to make Maggie’s standout in the plot; she is used as her foil. As readers, we see how awful Nellie is towards Maggie and others; we also realize that this is how she survives and thrives. While realizing Maggie’s qualities more easily through her foil, we read and feel for the innocent girl who gets run over by the world. “…her eyes had been plucked all look of self-reliance.” and, “She imagined a future, rose-tinted, because of its distance from all that she previously had experienced” (Crane, 58). Maggie does this because her innocence leads her to believe that being dependent on others is the only way to obtain the luxurious life that she desires. Unlike Maggie, Nellie is hardened by life, she comes to realize that she can cheat the system and make it out of the place that she and Maggie both grew up in by being ruthless and mean. Nellie’s approach was different from Maggie’s submissive persona.

Crane uses these two characters to represent the reality of life; he is writing this story during a time were no one cared to understand the struggle that women of minorities or majorities felt through their impoverished lives. In the plot not only do we see Nellie as Maggie’s foil, but we also see how Nellie represents the part of the female population that is willing to take a bad situation and change it in hope of a better life. Crane, illustrates to his audience how a poor immigrant women growing up during the Industrial Revolution was able to determine the outcome of her future. She either succeeded in life by escaping her impoverished background or failed to obtain the brighter future that all desired, and stayed put in in the slums of the United States. Nellie represents those who achieved the desired lifestyle by taking risks and not fearing the power of men. Maggie represents all women who were innocent and meek, “Those glances of men, shot at Maggie from under half-closed lids, made her tremble” (Crane, 59). This shows us that Maggie, unlike Nellie who “…apparently seeing the wall beyond“ (Crane, 66), was scared of men and the world that she lived in. More importantly she lost all self-reliance when she met Pete due to her lack of self-esteem and confidence.

Relating back to the quote by Tupac Shakur, the plot showed us that Nellie truly “make good out of the dirty, nasty, unbelievable lifestyle that they gave” her because she wasn’t afraid. While serving as Maggie’s foil, the plot showed us that Maggie, and people in general, often fail because they are afraid to do the things no one else wants to in an attempt to succeed.

Works Cited:

1. Shakur, Tupac. “Tupac Shakur.” Iz Quotes. N.p., 2017. Web. 23 Jan. 2017.
2. Stephen Crane women amd marxism fiction, Maggie: A Girl of the Streets. “Chapter XII.” Maggie: A Girl of the Streets-ch12. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Jan. 2017.

The past few days had been a whirlwind to say the least. My memory has always had a way of blocking out the bad parts, but there was no way to ignore the brown stained boxes piling higher and higher, and the way my home was pawned and negotiated. This day in late July seemed to me like the hottest of the summer so far, and none of my usual hiding places could shade me from the blaring sun. Normally on a day like today I would take my Junie B. Jones book into a small nook and read the day away. So, I picked my favorite from the shelf (Junie B. Jones and a Little Monkey Business), and skipped rigorously down the path in my front yard, across the parking lot and over to the box.
My best friend and I had found the box a couple days before, when our neighbor had decided to order a new refrigerator. We soon discovered it was the perfect size for us. I opened my book to the first page, and fell into it and out of my reality. Not too long after I started in on the book for about the twenty fifth time, my sister Sarah came over. She walked with a confidence like no one else, a walk I was so used to, it felt like seeing an old friend.
“Rachel come hold the cat so I can dress her in my baby doll clothes.” she called. At this point my immediate response was to ignore her, and continue reading. She called out again “Rach, I need your help!” I responded
“Why, Sarah, so you can torture our cat? No, I’m reading!” She let out a sigh of defeat and strutted back into the house.
I jumped right back into my book, unbothered by the interruption. As I absorbed each page thoroughly I started to hear something that distracted me. The sound of my screen door slamming shut and squeaking open again and again. Why is someone going in and out and in and out? I subtly shifted in the box to maintain my hiding spot, while also investigating the situation. I could see from the far corner of the box my mother lugging boxes from the house to our car. I looked away immediately, immersing myself back to Junie and her mischief. Reading intensely, I tried to put myself into the book. The less I let myself think, the better.
This method worked for awhile until I heard the start of a car engine. This time my curiosity took over, and I craned my neck wiping the blonde curls from my face; desperate to see what was happening. I could see my father pulling out of my driveway with his briefcase in the passenger seat. He had left for work. I continued to watch my house, and saw my mom continuing to load boxes and small furniture into our green hatchback Volvo. She was leaving too.
I quickly folded over my page of Junie B. Jones and picked myself up out of the box. I didn’t skip home. It felt so unnatural to me, to walk, walking was not fun. But, fun felt unnatural too. So I walked slowly home, my eyes locked on my dirty toes, playing hide and seek with the grass each step I took. When I got inside my mother was bustling around the house picking things up, putting them down. She said a passive “Hi, sweetie” as she went. I walked right by her, and climbed the stairs where I knew Sarah would be. When I got to her room she was wrestling our cat into a pink tutu. I waited there for a moment, and put my book down.
“I’ll hold her while you put the skirt on, but if she scratches me you’re dead!”

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Love isn’t Opt-in

I was confused and asked: “Why does Brett say ‘I have to’ when Jake asks if she loves him?”. Mrs. Waterman asks back in a sad tone: “Do we have a choice with who we love?”

The Sun Also Rises, by Ernest Hemingway, is a novel about Brett’s and Jake’s tragic love on each other. They both love each other deeply yet unrequitedly. Brett loves Jake because she is always able to gain mental comfort and calmness talking to Jake, Her love is unrequited, however, because she cannot endure a relationship without sex. Jake’s love on Brett is expressed continuously throughout the novel in his behaviors. He tries and thrives to be with her, even though he knows it will never happen. “Love” is never associated with “opt-in”. Their tragic love are unrequited.

Brett never lies to Jake. Whenever she feels mental breakdown or miserable, she goes to Jake. Jake is the only person who she can fully rely on and regain confidence and calmness. However, her love to Jake is unrequited because of the injury Jake endures during the war. Brett wants sexual relationship, yet Jake is never able to offer. Thus, she does not want to be with Jake, although she loves him. When Jake asks to live with Brett, she says: “I’d just tromper you with everybody. You can’t stand it.” (Hemingway 62). Brett does not want to ‘tromper’ or cheat Jake if she live with him. It is not that she does not love him, but she does not want to cheat Jake, which is because she wants to have sex and Jake is not able to. Her love on Jake is unrequited and unfulfilled by Jake’s injury. Another indication on this unrequited love is when Brett meets Jake after all her relationships with other men. “She kissed me, and while she kissed me I could feel she was thinking of something else.” (Hemingway 245). Brett’s action shows her unrequited love. Her kiss with Jake is an expression of love. However, Jake’s feeling that ‘she was thinking of something else’ indicates that Brett still wants sexual relationship. Jake’s injury makes it impossible so she only can think ‘something else’, sex in imagination, to fulfill her unrequited love.

Jake, as well, loves Brett deeply that he can do everything for her. Even though he knows that there is limited chance of being with Brett, he always run to Brett instantly on her request. Following with Brett’s statement that she concerns she might cheat on him, Jake answers: “I stand it now.” (Hemingway 62). It is the saddest line in the novel. Jake can even stand her cheating, only asking her to stay with him. How small and unrequited Jake’s love is? Her loyalty seems indifference if she live with him. He only asks for psychological love because he cannot offer sexual. However, because of Brett’s desire of sex, his love can never be fulfilled. After the conversation they have, Jake understands he has limited chance of being with Brett, but goes instantly to Brett everytime. In country, Jake and Bill enjoy a wonderful time fishing with Harris. They have pleasant and relaxing time traveling. However, when Jake receives a telegram about Brett, he instantly starts to travel back and run to her. Harris asks:”I hope you’re not thinking of leaving?”, and Jake instantly answers: “We’ll go in on the afternoon bus, I’m afraid.” (Hemingway 132). The scene in the novel creates a contradiction between Jake’s pleasant time and his immediate reaction after receiving telegram about Brett. Jake cares about Brett so much that he can leave the pleasant place for approaching her. His unrequited love is tragic and small, yet he never stops seeking.

It is ironic that they both love each other yet both unrequited. Brett always wants a sexual love that Jake cannot offer. At the same time, Jake’s injury makes him only seek for Brett’s psychological love, yet Brett refuses. Without choosing, they fall in love with each other. However, physical injury separates them and makes their love forever unrequited.

“At one point in your life you either have the things you want or the reasons why you don’t.” -Andy Roddick

My dad was just three years old when his father passed away. At the same time, his mom had lost two children during child birth. At this point in his life, when most kids were just starting preschool, my dad had lost his father and was left with four siblings and a single mother. A mother who was more scared of not being able to provide for her children, than of her well being. A mother who wanted more than anything to be able to provide a future for her children, even brighter than the one she had.

From an early age, my father carried the overbearing reality that he would never know his father, or be able to enjoy a life with a father. As a young boy, my dad carried the empty feeling of knowing he would never be able to have father and son talks like most kids do, when they are struggling. It was instilled in him that failure and aloofness was not allowed. From an early age, my father carried a job to help support his family in any way that he could. He prevailed when reality tried to shut the door on opportunity. Anything Life threw at him he prevailed.

During his senior year in high school, the soccer phenom, Kurt Swanbeck, led his team to a Massachusetts State Final. This was after a long childhood of setbacks and hardships, created by the things he carried. My dad, at the age of thirteen, lost around 60 pounds in the hospital, and near the end of his stay had a priest come in and gave him his last rites. This means that the end was near for the young man Life tried to kick to the side and kill. Now nearly 18 years old, he was being recruited by some of the most prestigious schools in the country, including Brown, Columbia, Uconn, and more. That same fatherless kid, who carried more than anyone his age should have had to, was beginning to prove everyone wrong. Everyone that doubted his future because of his fatherless childhood, and all those who looked past the kid that they should have be helping succeed, rather than kicking him to the side like he didn’t even exist. That same year, my dad would be named an All-American, one of only eleven in the country. The award didn’t mean anything in regard to soccer for him, but it was a way to show the father he never knew, that he prevailed, and that yeah, he made. It was like that final stamp of success that spit back in the face of those who socially cast him aside.

Often, people say that they weren’t able to achieve the things they strived to do, because of the things Life made them carry. My father took the things that Life made him carry, and turned that into the motivation that fueled his social, professional, and academic successes. Well, my father attended Columbia University, a school he should never have been admitted into. He almost left prematurely, because school and soccer seemed to be too hard, but eventually, he took the life lessons, created from the things he carried, all his life, and turned them into his motivation to succeed and persevere. Later, my dad played professional soccer in the ASL for the Nashville Diamonds and was called up to attend the Olympic Trials for our national team. My dad also received his Masters degree from Columbia University, a school he almost left, because of early inadequacies in school and in soccer, not because of his lack of work ethic, but from lack of appropriate opportunity, guidance, and preparation.

Kurt Swanbeck has carried many things in his life; some good, some bad. In my eyes, the eyes of his son, he wonderfully reflects the first part of the introductory quote. “At one point in your life you either have the things you want or the reasons why you don’t.” He may not be a millionaire, or able to play the game he loves, or be able to retire before he’s seventy, but his character has prevailed, and he has succeeded in more ways than one. Kurt Swanbeck been able to enjoy his life, and pass along stories upon stories, life lessons upon life lessons, to future generations that have looked up to him for guidance, preparation and opportunity, and who flock to him when in need.

My dad changes the lives of anyone that crosses paths with him for the better, whether they are one of his cherished players or a complete stranger he meets at the store. My dad is able to make them feel loved, and a part of a family. A family lead by a strong father figure, which, in the end, is perfectly ironic. Not because it is something he never had, but because it is something he was never taught to be. The things that Life made him carry turned him into a man that all boys strive to be, strong, compassionate, and kind.

Life is funny in that it often chooses, the weakest, not the mightiest of this world, but always the strongest of heart, to carry the most. It lays a burden on the man or woman that is often not ready for any of the responsibilities passed on to them, but in the end they strive and flourish larger than anyone else could have in a million years.

This is just a tidbit of my father’s life, and is only the beginning of a great story. Truly the meaning hidden in between the lines of this story, is something pretty special. It’s not about how you let the things you carry determine your life but it’s about how, to quote Rocky Balboa, “ hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward”. Life will make you carry things, good and bad, but your only way to achieve success in life, is to be able to carry as many things that life throws at you because, oh yeah, to quote Rocky one more time, “that’s how winning is done!”.

Works Cited:

1. Pintrest. “Explore Tennis Motivationnal, Tennis Life 3, and more!” Pintrest, https://www.pinterest.com/pin/242912973622638373/. Accessed 4 Apr. 2017.
2. Goodreads. “A quote from Rocky Balboa.” Goodreads,         www.goodreads.com/quotes/679872-let-me-tell-you-something-you-already-know-the-world. Accessed 10 Apr. 2017.

Nostalgia

It is in middle of May, several months since I went back home. I look through the window and observe the bright stars. My soul leaves my body, travels thousand miles of sea, and reaches my home. It is early morning in Guiyang, the sun in the east slightly shows his head up. My parents are asleep, but I don’t come for them. I come for the haze of my hometown. The haze is a name card of the city, an unforgettable scene.

On this date, my hometown is best for tasting the haze. I usually invite some friends and have a healthy breakfast while enjoying the haze. The sky shares the same color as the ground. The vague skyscrapers in distance are covered by the color of mystery. They are like mirage on a desert, creating a scene that every building is floating in the sky. On the street, I can hear every sound of car horning and little boy peddling, but I cannot capture any movement. It feels like I walk into a tunnel connecting to the world of illusion.

The haze in Beijing moves slowly but with an imposing manner. It has too short of history, however, an expert definitely can feel the difference. It is like the debut of an actor shouting to convey his emotions, but the audience notice his lack of experience. Shanghai has totally different taste of haze. It feels restricted and serious, just like their fast pace of life. I don’t like it because there’s no pride hidden in that haze. I have visited Zhengzhou for once, the haze there is full of modern civilization. It is full of metal. Tasting that haze gives the story behind steel pot and cement stairs. The haze of my city is out of fashion nowadays. It seems powerful, but it is only the taste of dirt. It does not have the layers of tastes that reveals themselves gradually, like those types of hazes in other cities. I believe many people can identify where the haze comes from when tasting it. It is a skill that can be developed to professionalism, like the wine tasters in France.

The poets in ancient China like to compose their work under the bright moon. They think the bright moon can evoke their emotions to write poems. This is wrong. The haze nowadays does better contributing in composing. Appreciating the moon is now guessing the moon. It definitely creates room for imagination in order to produce better pieces. If the native children intend to put the stars and moon into their paper, they can listen their elders saying “long long time ago”. The haze contributes a lot in inspiring imagination to them.

Not only art, the haze is also beneficial to daily life. The privacy is strengthened. Nobody needs to put the curtain down at any time. It feels safer and less exposed to the public. Such privacy does not exist in where I am living now. If the haze is heavier, even the thieves are not able to steal, but they may get lost. According to the data, the crime rate has decreased in last two years, which indicates the contribution of haze to public safety.

There are only fog in where I am living. It is too light of smell and ugly of view. It is also very rare, only three or four times in a year. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable walking down the street. I feel that I am separate from nature. I still cannot get used to it after leaving my home for three years.

I wish I can pack up now and fly on a plane, in this best season, to taste my home.

Dawn

“I’ve never seen a dawn as beautiful as this.” he stretches his arms toward the light, embracing the warmness, despite the fact that he never could wake up and see a dawn in his fifteen years of life.

“Am I blooding?” the young boy turns to his friend and points at his lips. His voice is shaking. Under little light reflected by the snow, there is no blood on his anxious face. “But it hurts” he speaks to himself, continuously touching and licking his lips. “Blooding” is a typical mistake made by a non-native speaker, but right now who will correct him anyway?

In his younger days, kids put their two fingers on the lips and breathed out while removing fingers. Then they started to show a satisfied face, pretending they were really smoking. Now he has no time of playing with vapor. He bends over to the front seat and looks for a jacket in his suitcase. The smell of fuel and burning plastic flows around him. He covers his nose with left hand and keeps looking. His eyes open widely, trying to adapt to the darkness. He cannot find his jacket. The blue jacket with a “Columbia” logo on top right. Apparently, he was on “vacation mode” when his mom helped him packing. The breeze flows through his shirt, and his legs are shaking like a jelly.

“Always send me a message of where you are and when you will come home.” It is the No. 1 and the only rule his mom has for him. He turns his phone back on and immediately sends her a message. “Safe trip, seat belts”. Her reply is simple. Too simple for the boy and now he is bored because the conversation doesn’t last long. The cab is warm, or maybe a little too hot. The air conditioner is the best invention of human history, he thinks before falling asleep.

Standing in the middle of the road with only a shirt is not a good decision. Well, the single shirt part is worse. The young boy figures he should wave to stop the upcoming cars. He also figures that he might be hit by the upcoming car. It is too dark, and the darkness is too long, he thinks. The anxiety on his face disappears. He calmly looks straight forward on the road until the ambulance comes.

“70 beats per minute, you seem very fine,” the man takes off the finger clip and the machine stops reading numbers.

I smiled.

“Sorry.” the boy is seriously apologizing to his mom for not taking to her warning. Although he is not hurt, her mother’s shouts make him very uncomfortable. “Perhaps mentioning the jacket part of the story will result in more shouts from her” he figures. So he focuses the conversation on the seat belt part. He feels guilty and happy at the same time. Her sharp shouts are now soft for him to understand.

He walks out the hospital and raises his head. The soft sunlight shines on his face. The long dark is over now, and he feels fully awakened and fresh. He is already excited for a new day.

Can’t Always Get What You Want

Life is always full of dissatisfaction. Its dissatisfaction, however, is also a fascination. The song You Can’t Always Get What You Want by the Rolling Stone explicitly expresses this idea, and it draws connection to the main characters, Jake and Brett, in the book The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway. The song conveys the idea that “you can’t always get what you want” but “you get what you need”, which is exactly Jake’s situation.

Jake wants Brett so much that he can do anything for her. His desire is shown throughout the scenes. However, because of his disability, Brett refuses to have psychological relationship of love with him. Jake’s behavior has shown his “want”. When Jake and Brett agree to meet one day, Jake shows up early and looks for Brett. “At five o’clock I was in the Hotel Crillon waiting for Brett. She was not there.” “Brett did not turn up, so about quarter to six I went down to the bar and had a Jake Rose with George the barman.” “Brett had not been in the bar either, so I looked for her up-stairs on my way out, and took a taxi to the Cafe Select.” (48). Although Jake does not write in his emotions and feelings, his dissatisfaction connects to the lyrics “you can’t always get what you want”. Jake waits for Brett for a long time, then he looks for her in the bar and upstairs. Brett’s absence does not fulfill Jake’s “want”. Even when Jake is willing to abandon his own dignity, Brett still refuses. When Jake asks Brett to live with him, Brett thinks that she will always cheat on him. However, Jake responds: “I stand it now” (62). Jake rather willing to watch Brett cheating on him than being apart with her. At this moment, his “want” is extremely strong, but Brett still refuses to fulfill his “want.

Although the lyrics of the song conveys states:  “you can’t always get what you want”, its following sentence expresses the optimistic future that “you get what you need”. Jake gets what he “need” at the end of the book: relief. When Brett says: “we could have had such a damned good time together”, Jake responds: “Isn’t it pretty to think so?” He states that the idealized relationship Brett just described has never happened. His emotion has changed from “want” to ‘think’, as he fully understands the reality that they can’t be together. He buries his dream into fantasy, and he stopped wanting. He is finally tired of trying and relieved. In Jake’s perspective, this is his “need”: to realize the reality that Brett is unapproachable for him. So he can escape from emotional breakdown of disappointment on Brett.

The lyrics of the song You Can’t Always Get What You Want are  the conclusion of Jake’s love on Brett. In his process of trying, he realized the fact that “you can’t always get what you want”. The realization itself is the “need” that Jake gets. Dissatisfaction makes life not so boring, and it makes people move forward to fulfill their needs.

The Weight of Freedom

How can somebody like me carry something? My parents accepted a philosophy of education that most parents in China rarely accept or strongly oppose. They gave me absolute freedom on what I do. I can decide whether I learn a musical instrument; I can decide whether I stay at home all summer time; I can decide how much time I spend on my phone everyday. There is no requirement I need to achieve, and no stress is put on me. I cannot complain, no kid can because I enjoyed happy childhood. However, as I grow up, I realize that there is a weight of freedom, a price follows it.

When I went to middle school, my classes were more challenging. I would say “challenging” is not the right word to describe it because all it takes is more effort and focus during class time. With no surprise, I failed the second test in my math class. Some of my friends failed it too for different reasons, but my reason is simple. I did not work hard. My friend joked that his mom would shout at him the whole night and have a two hour conversation with my teacher. It was funny for me because for the first time, I saw terrified eyes with such a big smile. I proudly announced that, “My parents won’t do that because they just never do!” It was my 7th grade speaking. It was not the first time that I was proud of my parents instead of being proud of myself.

I took my test back home because my parents had to sign it. Before I showed my test to my mom, she smiled softly and said: “How do you feel about it?” I started the long testimony I had prepared. Although I can not remember exactly, it was nothing more than “bad luck” or how close I was to the correct answer. The corners of her eyes wrinkled up, and she was reading my test slowly and seriously. Maybe I saw her scowl or maybe I didn’t. Then she turned to look at me and said: “It’s ok, as long as you recognize your mistake, fix it. If you need help, find me or your teacher or your classmate.” She signed her name next to my grade, stared at the number for a few seconds, and gave it back to me.

Perhaps my mom expressed similar emotions when I failed another test or made other bad decisions. She did not shout at me and she was not angry. However, I felt something different out of her soft smile. Something I carried, yet didn’t notice. I realized the fundamental truth of a parent, that every mother and father expect their child to be someone.  My parents gave me absolute freedom, yet it was fully restricted. They have no requirements on me, yet I carried their requirements. They put no pressure on me, yet I carried pressure. I carried every soft smile. I carried every “it’s ok”. I carried every signature beside my grade. I carried nothing and I carried everything.

I am nothing special in comparison to other kids, except the ambiguity, except what I carried is unclear and unlimited.

Surviving Better

If looking at this planet in aerial view from God’s perspective, does anything draw our attention? There are billions of ordinary people who fight to survive and earn an extra bottle of beer for dinner. Although living in different areas, some of the circumstances and environment of their lives are remarkably similar. Yet, people always have very different outcomes of lives and achievements. There are some flickers shining when observing this world. What makes those people special? What makes them survive better?

In the book Maggie: A Girl of the Streets, the author Stephen Crane establishes the main character, Maggie, and her literary foil, Nellie. These two characters are “cut from the same cloth” because they are both born in the “mud puddle” as the narrator describes the society. They are both adorable girls who have desires of wealth and success. They try to ingratiate themselves into the city gentry, yet they are different from each other in terms of dealing with relationships, which can reflect their standpoints on self-reliance.

When Maggie falls in love with Pete, her desires begin to be shown: “She envied elegance and soft palms. She craved those adornments of person which shw saw every day on the street, conceiving them to be allies of vast importance to women.”(Crane 36) She has desire of “elegance and soft palms” and “adornments” in order to deserve Pete. She attempts to well-dress herself to be confident in front of him and attract him. Her desires are comprehensive and applicable to many women, at least to Nellie. Nellie has similar desires, which are shown by her dress. “Her linen collar and cuffs were spotless. Tan gloves were stretched over her well-shaped hands. A hat of a prevailing fashion perched jauntily upon her dark hair.”(Crane 65) Nellie is a gold digger who plays with feelings to be superior. She dressed herself as a rich or a noble, which she never is. The linen collar, cuffs, tan gloves, a hat of a prevailing fashion all indicate her wealth or desire of wealth. They were both born in poor and in the same city that is dirty and remorseless. However, the outcomes of their lives are remarkably different.

“The girl, Maggie, blossomed in a mud puddle.” (Crane 23) She is like a lotus which grows in a mud yet never contaminates with it. She is adorable and special, yet ignorant. When she pursues her love, her self-reliance turns weaker over time. In the beginning of their relationship, Maggie is restrained, although she feels the impulse of being with Pete in the dancing hall. When Pete asks for a kiss, “Maggie laughed, as if startled, and drew away from him.” (Crane 35). However, as Maggie loves and cares about Pete deeply, her status is lowered by herself: “From her eyes had been plucked all look of self-reliance. She leaned with a dependent air toward her companion. She was timid, as if fearing his anger or displeasure.” (Crane 57). She abandons all her self-reliance, and relies fully on Pete. Her “timid” feeling of “fearing his anger or displeasure” indicates her status is limited, and she allows Pete to gain superiority over her. She is like a dog at the corner, begging for food with eyes filled with gratitude. Nearly the end of their relationship, Maggie has completely gives away herself: “The air of spaniel-like dependence had been magnified and showed its direct effect in the peculiar off-handedness and ease of Pete’s ways toward her.” (Crane 65) Maggie’s absolute dependence on Pete makes him no longer interested in her. She is now a dog who could be abandoned anytime by her owner. In contrast, Nellie, as a gold digger, perfectly manipulates who loves her. When her lover shouts at her asking her to say, “she bended over and whispered in his ear. He smiled again and settled in his chair as if resolved to wait patiently.” (Crane 69). She is able to manipulate her lover with words so he can “wait patiently”, which indicates that she gains superiority in the relationship and remains her self-reliance. Nellie is a literary foil in the book to emphasize Maggie’s weakness: self-reliance. The contrast between the two characters shows that even though they share the same starting line and goals, Nellie, with self-reliance in mind, survives better. Her appearance is the way Maggie intends to achieve yet loses herself.

Apparently, character Maggie is a girl who is innocent and ignorant. She is willing to give anything she has in order to have Pete’s love in return. However, in the end, she doesn’t even receive much attention from him. Maggie is the character of “something for nothing”.  Without her self-reliance, she gives everything yet still gains nothing. Nellie, on the same platform in the beginning, learns to be herself and trust nobody to gains superiority. Ralph Waldo Emerson once writes in his article Self-reliance that: “Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.” Nellie or Pete might have no morality and true love in mind, but they reserve their “integrity”, or self-reliance, in order to be a survivor of the city.

The Smell Vanishes

The road is rugged, but the driver is still driving fast. Perhaps he wants to finish his job and have dinner. Nobody blames him; perhaps everyone has same thought as he. The bus stops. Only one woman boards the bus at this station. She’s young, but looks very tired. Her eyelids are fighting to remain open widely. Her black eyes are bloodshot like she will fall asleep standing there. However, she holds tightly a bouquet of flowers on her hand. I can smell the fragrance from a long distance.

I gently give her my seat with a complacent smile. Perhaps opening her mouth is a waste of energy, she only glances at me with appreciation in her eyes. She sits and rests her head besides window. I think I’ve done such a good thing today that would bring luck to my next life. I smile constantly and then I fall into fantasy of what my next life might look like.

The blossoms are beautiful, and the smell is stronger because she is close to me.

The bus stops again. An old woman boards, bearly and slowly, with a walking cane. Nobody is being impatient because she deserves our time of waiting. Her legs are shaking as she might fall on the ground at any moment. Wrinkles are over her face, and she is humpbacked. It is hard for me to imagine what she might look like when she was young.

The driver starts to drive slowly, but nobody complains about it. I look around and wonder if I can do another “good thing” today. However, everyone on the seats is either old or pregnant, and I also hear someone pretending to snore. “I cannot wake the one who’s pretending to sleep, can I?” I thought sarcastically.

So I walk closer to the young lady that, and ask: “Could you please give your seat to this woman?” I pointed at the old woman who starts to look at me, “I think she needs this seat more than you do.” I ask politely, so polite that nobody would expect her to say “No”

“No,” but she certainly does not meet my expectation, “I’m sorry.” She answers. Everyone on the bus turns to look at her, except the one who pretends to snore. “Why? She needs help.” I frowned and cannot believe what she said. “I’m sorry.” she repeats, and then she turns her head to look out the window. I tap her shoulders and said: “I think you really need to help this woman. You will be old some time in your life, and you can expect the next generations to give you their seats when you can barely walk!” I shout at her and feel like my morality is refreshed and reached a higher standard.

She stands up and gives her seat, probably because she cannot bear the blames she receives from the whole bus. She looks at me in the eyes, but I realize the hate in her eyes is not on me: she hates this world. And I start to hate those who always gain and never give. The old woman, though, gives me a big smile, saying: “Thank you.”

The petals are withering and falling. I can hardly smell them.

After a few minutes, the young lady walks slowly towards the backdoor. The flowers are still on her hands, but she does not look at them at any moment. Suddenly, she looks at me in the eyes and said: “I’m on my periods.”

“Uh?” I look at her with uncertainty and surprise.

“Menstruation.” She explains and walks out of the bus.

The smell vanishes after her.