Alive

Posted on May 22, 2019 by Oliver Pittman

I’ve spent an hour staring at this page, typing intros and deleting them, all with a different idea- but every time I get through the introduction and realize that that’s not what makes me feel alive. Sitting here in the Halford Common room with the girl I love, laughing with her and listening to music as we struggle through homework and take breaks to talk about life and hopes and dreams- this is where I’m in my element. I’m most alive when I let life wash over me and just try and experience it as it comes. The thing that makes me feel most alive is simply living. Living in the moment hasn’t always been something I could enjoy. I’ve struggled for so long with anxiety and depression that years of my life have been clouded with a need to escape, but as I recover and get stronger and healthier living comes easier to me. Trying to think about what specifically makes me feel alive feels like it’s taking away from how far I’ve come. I don’t need something outstanding to make me feel alive. It’s when I’m drinking coffee with my cousin, or when I’m driving my brother to practice with the windows down in the dead of winter. It’s the rush I get when her hand brushes mine, the way my heart speeds up when she bites her lip in concentration. It’s the grin on my face as I open a package from my best friend who lives 1,240 miles away, or my side pressed against my sister’s as we lay on my bed and laugh. Passing notes in class, ranting to teachers, the shock of cold air against my face as I exit a building- all of these things make me feel alive. Life is happening all around me, if I only stop to pay attention.

  • My brother, James
  • My sister Marie and my lizard Green Bean
  • My parents discovering snapchat filters
  • Ozan and Ms Midd for decades day
  • Ozan, Dexuan, and me suffering through Outdoor Ed together
  • Alice, Me, Ozan, and Aarti at prom
  • Thekla and Mr Covey when they decided to start a vlog
  • Alice when she decided she wanted to model for Swiss Miss
  • My best friend, Xander

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115 Responses to Alive

  1. 20pittmano says:
    May 22, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    I remember writing this, and it was awful. I wrote probably four different intros before deleting them and staring at a blank page yet again, but I’m really happy with how it turned out. It’s really short and concise but I feel like it captures my truth.

  2. 20gumprechts says:
    May 23, 2019 at 7:41 pm

    First of all, I LOVE THIS! Second, I really like how it feels like you are talking right to the audience, it feels personal. And the way that you put all the little moments in helps imagine what your type of alive really is. Great job!

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