Future HAMS students,
As a HAMS alumna, I have some tips to help you through your next three years of being in the Hebron Academy Middle School. Firstly, talk to every single high schooler you pass by. Start a conversation, talk about life. Every person in high school would love to talk to you on their
way to class. Trust me. I made so many high school friends and was the coolest person in middle school. Next, make sure you walk in a amoeba-like form all over campus, especially on the senior path. Most importantly make sure you do not let anyone get past you on the path. They must walk on the grass around you; bonus points if they have heels on.
Now these next two are related and two of the most important tips. Always, always yell on the way to class because the high school has different schedules as you and they love to hear your voices while they are in class. Your high-pitched voices are perfect for when we are falling asleep in class. Similarly, make sure you do this during exam week, when there are signs saying to be quiet. This helps everyone focus and kill their final exams!
Take my advice into consideration, and remember, to always be inconsiderate.
This piece was really fun. I don’t usually do funny papers, but this made me branch out and go out of my comfort zone. I enjoyed taking my own experiences into account and practically bashing myself.
Hadwin, this is too relatable. I have experienced being around middle schoolers as a high schooler for three years now and every one of your points is true. I could not have possibly been that annoying when I was in middle school. I believe that this should be in the middle school handbook. It is great advice for all students at Hebron grades 6-8.
I liked Ben’s suggestion that this should be part of the HAMS handbook. I, too, could clearly visualize all the points you make, Hadwin. I think the satirical tone suits you well!
A very funny piece. Well done.