Dear Little Sister

Dear Little Sister,

Having survived our household already, I am here to give you a few tips as you learn how truly insane our family is. For a start, when mom tells you the specific way she likes the dishes done, let it go right through your ears. She enjoys repeatedly explaining it to you and making you redo them. That vein in her neck popping out? That means she’s happy to be teaching you still, so don’t mind that.

Oh and when mom tells you that you look beautiful and to have confidence in yourself, just ignore that. You should listen to society’s views on your appearance and judge yourself based on that. Always rely on others acceptance to determine your self esteem and use those opinions to change yourself accordingly. Just remember that mom is oblivious to what’s deemed pretty, it’s not like she’s our mother and has been around for years.

When mom tells you that you need to call the grandparents? You don’t need to. They’re old and withering, they won’t notice if you forget to call every once in awhile. You don’t need to waste your time talking to some old person that’s on limited time, it’s alright. You should be out with your friends at the mall, because we all know your friends in highschool are forever. So don’t feel bad for not calling, just tell mom that they can wait until you get back from the movies.

Mom seems to not understand what’s in fashion, I know. So when she tells you that your clothes are a little, well, showy, don’t mind that. She’s old and isn’t hip to what’s considered stylish. That top she hates that shows your whole stomach? Just wear it. You don’t need to listen to her rants about self respect and loving yourself without having to show your body. It makes more sense to copy the models and celebrities out there, try and look like them because then you’ll be happy.

So, Little Sister, I hope you’ve learned a lot from my thoughtful tips. Just be sure to remember that mom doesn’t know as much as you do, you’re obviously wiser than our experienced mom, who’s gone through all this already. When she gives you advice remember to take into account you and your friends thoughts on the subject as well, a couple teenagers put together ensure far better results than a mother who knows you and what you’re going through. After taking in all this useful information, I hope you now have a better understanding on how to survive your teenage years in the house.

Your wise Big Sister,
Pashynce