Safe Trip, Seat Belts
The plane landed in that cold winter night filled with snowdrifts and numerous flakes falling to the ground. As the lonely sky hung up high, the darkness and silence are all over the place. People even put their volume down when talking on such quiet night. I found a hard time breathing in the freezing air. It was unexpected about the time I spent on looking for my jacket from my luggage. Perhaps because my mom accidentally put it underneath other clothes when packing it. Perhaps I was eating chips and watching TV shows when she was packing. I should not blame her about it because if it was me packing up, I might even forget to bring it.
I wiped out all the snow on my giant heavy luggage and put it into the cab. Then I jumped into the back seats because I could not endure one more second in the air. I stretched my stiff fingers and legs. The cab driver was smart about presetting the air conditioner, so there was warm air flowing around. He probably turned it on for several hours because of the late arrival of flight.
As usual, I sent a message to my mom informing her my arrival,. As usual, her reply was simple: “safe trip, seat belts”. Looking at the screen on my phone with little lights on the road, I only saw fatigue. My body was telling me to sleep after a full day in the air. I found a comfortable position lying on the back seats. Warm air and comfortable music soon brought me to dreams.
And then here came the sound of tires screeching and the collision. The warm air was filled with the smell of something burning I tried to understand from the driver’s shaking voice, but I soon found out that the words came out of his mouth were unmeaningful sentences about Gods.
The snowflakes were still flying around with the breeze. The lonely moon was also surrounded by darkness because there was no star in the sky. While the driver was recovering from his desperation, I pulled out my phone, calmly, calling 911. The freezing wind made my fingers stiff, and I was still dizzy because of the collision. However, surprisingly, I talked through all that happened to the police officials with a calm voice and clear chronology.
The cold air kept me awake and I was comprehensive about what I should do next, acting like it had been through times of rehearsals. I called the Dean of Student and the transportation officer from my school. I asked one of the cars which stopped after us to light up and warn the following cars, because we were all standing in middle of the road. And at the next second, I thought: “Maybe it’s time to call my parents.” Then I picked up my phone and kept saying: “Yes” and apologizing when she shouted “I told you to wear your seat belts!”
That freezing winter night actually taught me more than just fastening seat belts. When I finished a body test and came out the hospital, the sun almost came out. I have never seen any dawn beautiful as that.
And the spring came eventually.
Reflection:
This is the first narrative piece I wrote for class. I tried very hard on constructing descriptive sentences to add more vivid images to the essay. It is not a successful piece but I put a lot of work in it. It feels like I am telling the story, not showing it in front of readers. Despite that, the central theme of “seat belt” is clear and consistant. The story guadually moves forward to the final sentence “and the spring came eventually”. Overall, this piece is a failure of descriptive language but a success of story telling.
Johnny, I really enjoyed the way you used the weather and the temperature as a backdrop to this dramatic story, and it particularly resonates with your final sentence. I think you’ve done a very effective job here. This piece is vivid and stays in reader’s minds long after they’re reading it. Nice work.
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