The Weight

The Weight

You don’t realize the true cost of war until you read the novel The Things They Carried by Tim O’brien. In the novel we learn about the true struggles soldiers carry during and after their time at war. The first weight the soldiers must carry is the fear of being a coward. We see this many times throughout the novel where a member of the group does something to the extreme to show they are not a coward. Another thing the soldiers face a lot is the guilt from their actions. In war you are put in many tough situations and have to make very tough decisions and this weighs heavy on your conscience. The final thing the soldiers face is life after the war and the struggle to go back to everyday life and fit into society. Every soldier leaves for the war but not everyone comes back. These soldier’s carry these weights with them for the rest of their lives.

The idea of not blushing and being a coward is one that is on every soldiers mind. It was on their mind from the day they signed up for the military and got exacerbated the day they found out they have been drafted. O’brien makes it clear to us from the very beginning that the soldiers in vietnam faced this, “They carried their reputations. They carried the soldier’s greatest fear, which was the fear of blushing. Men killed, and died, because they were embarrassed not to.” (20) These men wanted one thing and one thing only and that was to preserve their reputation. No man in the group wanted to be seen as a coward so they did whatever they had to, to be seen as a courageous man. Even in the heat of a battle these thoughts are flowing through the soldiers minds, “My conscience told me to run, but some irrational and powerful force was resisting, like a weight pushing me toward the war. What it came down to, stupidly, was a sense of shame. Hot, stupid shame. I did not want people to think badly of me.” (49) Once again the main thing running through the soldier’s mind is preserving their reputation. None of the soldiers want to feel ashamed or embarrassed by shying away from the battles or any of the other obstacles that war throws at you. It’s sad that this is a thought that the soldiers had to carry from the day they signed up for the military and how it only gets worse once you enter battle. Also some of these actions that these men do to preserve their reputations leaves them with uncontrollable guilt.

Guilt is something every soldier goes through from their time at war. It weighs on the soldiers conscience and sometimes can eat away at you enough to make you take your life. It starts to weight on this young soldiers conscience right after he lost a fellow soldier, “He’d lost Kiowa and his weapon and his flashlight and his girlfriend’s picture. He remembered this. He remembered wondering if he could lose himself. (164) The young soldier just lost a brother, his flashlight and his girlfriends picture which was very important to him. Now he is left wondering if he will also lose himself here in Vietnam. With everything he is going through will he survive the guilt he is facing? Later we learn that it was the young soldiers fault for Kiowa’s death, “Beside him, a few steps off to the left, the young soldier was still searching for his girlfriends picture. Still remembering how he had killed Kiowa. The boy wanted to confess.” (169) The boy wanted to confess to the others that it was his fault and that he felt guilty for exposing them to the enemy. This is something the boy will carry with him forever and can never escape it. This leads into the weight the soldiers carry after the war.

Once the war is over the soldiers head right back to the United States. While most people think this is all the soldiers ever wanted it is far from it. No soldiers come back the same way they left and their lives have been forever changed from the war, The thing is, “he wrote, “‘there’s no place to go. Not just in this lousy little town. In general. My life, I mean. It’s almost like i got killed over in Nam… Hard to describe. That night when Kiowa got wasted, I sort of sank down into the sewage with him… Feels like i’m still in deep shit.”’ (150) This is Norman Bowker explaining how he feels disconnected from society after returning from war. He feels like there’s no place for him to go and that a part of him died in Vietnam. This is something almost every soldier carries with them once returning from war and for some it is just to much to handle, “His friends found him hanging from a water pipe. There was no suicide note, no message of any kind. “‘Norman was a quiet boy,”’ his mother wrote, “and I don’t suppose he wanted to bother anybody.”’ (154) This is Norman Bowker’s mother explaining how her son killed himself. His life after the war was never the same and mentally he must have not been the same. It must have been to much to carry on his mind that lead him to believe suicide was the only option which is sad. It shows how much war has an effect on people.

The weight these soldiers had to carry while at war and after it is astonishing. From the instant pressure to be seen a courageous soldier and not a coward, to dealing with the guilt of their actions and to their life after the war.