American Literature (A)

In The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald,  Nick shows a friendly consideration toward Gatsby and he is truly correct in his assessment of other friends, which says:” They’re a rotten crowd’ I shouted across the lawn. ‘You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together’”(Fitzgerald 154). In Nick’s perspective, only Gatsby is his real honest friend; others are all somewhat corrupted in their life. Fitzgerald shows that Daisy is corrupted by desire of money and power, Tom is corrupted by lust, and lastly, Mr. Wilson is finally corrupted to only enmity and revenge.

Daisy plays a significantly important role in Gatsby’s life, or we can say, she plays more important role in Jay Gatz’s life. Jay had been attracted to Daisy several years ago when Daisy truly warmed a lonely soldier’s heart. However, although the war split them apart from each other, Jay’s sentiment towards Daisy cumulates deeper into his heart. Therefore, when he finally becomes Gatsby and asks Nick to bring Daisy to his tea party, he is “pale as death”(86) because he is so nervous and anxious, and he can’t repress his love toward Daisy. However, Daisy, who already married to Tom due to his wealth at that time, accept the invitation without hesitation. Contrastly, she is wildly open to others while Gatsby abandons himself to the only Daisy through the tough years. She not only allures Nick in the party: “ If you want to kiss me any time during the evening, Nick, just let me know and I’ll be glad to arrange it for you” (104), and she also mentions: “ Or present a green card. I’m giving out green—-”(104). Green is a really important color in the novel. It does not only represent the future but also the American dream. Daisy’s behavior of giving out green cards can be interpreted as she is giving out her future and dream. She is trying to gain wealth and power by giving out her green card, and she literally destroys the American dream. As long as people become dependent, their passion to climb summit will just be wiped out for relying on others. Daisy’s own corruption destinies her failure, which ends up suffering from her relationship. Similar to Daisy’s self-corruption, Tom is also corrupted by lust, or his desire to possess other women.

Tom and Daisy’s marriage exists in name only in the novel, not only Daisy betrays the marriage, Tom also cheats the sacred word with his endless possession. Therefore, the crazy desire of possession from Tom to Daisy does corrupt him eventually when he acknowledges the affair. This lust has corrupted himself deeply, he doesn’t want to divorce with Daisy to even though he knows her affair, all for his abnormal possession. Moreover, this lust even somewhat twists his mentality. Perhaps because of his envy toward Gatsby, he doesn’t stop the revenge from Mr. Wilson; instead, he chooses to tell him the “truth” about Gatsby. Although Tom doesn’t directly murder Gatsby, but his assistance indirectly causes the death of Gatsby without question. The death of Gatsby must impact tremendously in his life as he mentions: “when I went to give up that flat and saw that damn box of dog biscuits…, I sat down and cried like a baby”(179) He implies that his life is like a puppy now, all he can do is to spend time around Daisy and ingratiate her. That’s how deep Tom has been corrupted by lust, but it can’t even compare to one in a million of the corruption of Mr. Wilson.

Mr. Wilson is the perfect ultimate example of corruption in the novel. He used to be a hard-working man until he watches Mrs. Wilson’s death. Firstly, he became really depressed and guilty for arguing with her that night. But then, he chooses to revenge, not only for the death of Mrs. Wilson, but also the affair. We see this guilt when Wilson says: “‘I spoke to her,’ he muttered, after a long silence”(159). Quickly, the guild converts to anger and revenge. After saying “God sees everything”(160), Mr. Wilson finally decides to take revenge. If God ignores it for some reason, I will become my own God, Mr. Wilson has made his mind here. When he came to Tom, “he was crazy enough to kill [Tom] if [Tom] hadn’t told him who owned the car,” (178) and Mr. Wilson finally decides to let the revolver revolve. The conversion from a kind and God-fearing worker to an insane murderer is clearly the corruption of Mr. Wilson from deep corner of his soul. When Wilson looks at the eyes of Doctor T.J Eckleburg, the deep insanity and corruption from him, or from the Valley of Ashes shines out. But when “[Eyes of Doctor T.J Eckleburg] look out of no face”(23), it seems that people in the Valley of ashes all live in falsehood. “The real truth is behind the pair of enormous yellow spectacle which pass over a non-existent nose”(23). In order to look through the non-existent truth in Valley of Ashes, people need to wear a pair of yellow spectacle. However, in order to get a yellow truth, blue needs to be stripped from green. Blue represents wealth and hope in The Great Gatsby, and when wealth and hope is stripped from the future, which is what green represents, the only thing will be the truth that can not bear to look. This applies to not only the Valley of Ashes, but also beyond the dome of the novel.

Maggie and Nellie, their similarity is their identity in Crane’s novel, Maggie: A girl of the streets, being regarded as prostitutes. However, the protagonists and her foil, although their identity are both hid under the cover of prostitution, their lives are totally different from each other. Maggie is a young, timid, and innocent girl; in contrast, Nellie, “the woman of brilliance and audacity”, is an experienced, dauntless and mature lady. Maggie mostly relies on others to live on, while Nellie grasps her fortune in her hand. Maggie ends in a gloomy night, but Nellie enjoys her night with revelry. These two opposite characters in Crane’s novel completely reflects the darkest corner of the world. At the very corner of the world, without striving for your life and relying on yourself, you will eventually disappear namelessly.

When Maggie meets Pete, she is only a teenager, she doesn’t know what love is, she only knows the tenderness from a stranger who warmed her frightened heart from her family. Maggie’s family consists of Mary, her mother, and Jimmie, her brother. However, because they all live under the same roof, the bad feelings or behaviors from one family member will strongly affect the others. Although, from the ending scene we know that Mary actually loves her daughter, but her behaviors are really inappropriate as a mother, because her expression brings Maggie fear. The light trauma from home really strikes Maggie’s feeling; therefore, only a little care from Pete just attracts Maggie deeply. When Pete invites Maggie to the bar for the first time, he says: “Say, what deh hell? Bring deh Lady a big glass! What deh hell use is dat pony?” (Crane, 32)Pete’s impolite, or even rude words doesn’t warn Maggie, she “perceived that Pete brought brought forth all his elegance and all his knowledge of high-class customs for her benefit. Her heart warmed as she reflected upon his condescension.” (32)If she can be more sophisticated, she will realize Pete is only just a normal stranger from the scene in the bar. If she can accept even a bit of education, she should know how rude Pete is at that time. However, the little unsophisticated, naive and innocent girl just falls love in Pete. She loves him so much that she can even give up her family. After Maggie’s argument with her mom, she decides to leave the house and live with Pete because she believe he is the only one she can rely on. But the appearance of Nellie, the sexy lady with strong appeals, finally shatters Maggie’s dream.

Different from Maggie, Nellie knows what she is seeking. After her appearance in the bar, her dresses and her vibe immediately let her become the focus of the pool; however, during this time Maggie just stares at Pete being allured to Nellie. This is the difference from people who can actually catch their dreams. When Pete talks to Maggie, he owns the dominance; however, when he talks to Nellie, he just tries to ingratiate Nellie. “‘Well, I’m glad teh see yehs back in deh city,’ said Pete, with awkward gallantry.” (65) He tries his best to avoid having embarrassment as talking to Nellie, but Maggie, the actual girlfriend of Pete, “sat still, unable to formulate an intelligent sentence upon the conversation and painfully aware of it.” (66)Maggie can only stare at them, because she doesn’t know how to strive for Pete. If she could be more decisive here and join the conversation and show clearly dominance on Pete, she could’ve win, she does have advantages: she is young, she is pretty, and she is pure from the soul. However, she just stares at them having the conversation then finally leave. After the accidental meeting with Nellie, Maggie’s life changed dramatically. She finds out that once her backing leaves, she actually become unfamiliar to the world. She doesn’t know how to survive in the society because she didn’t have any education, which is the tragedy of the social hierarchy system. People who live at the bottom of the society have limited chance to avert their life; thus, they will have to grasp any opportunities they face, or they will silently disappear in the deepest corner, usually die namelessly. Maggie unfortunately became the type of the person who died in silence, she just disappeared in the dark corner around the street, but, at this time, Nellie enjoys her night. She meets Pete again in the bar; however, this time Nellie has the dominance. She just played Pete to pay for all the drinks and she just let him get drunk and pass out on the floor in the bar; she even took the last dollar in his pocket to maximize his value to her. “What a damn fool.” Nellie left with the last piece of scorn to Pete. Even though the method is not honored, Nellie can still enjoy the ravelry for her rest of years.

Crane exposed many dark secrets of the society in his novel, Maggie and Nellie’s contrast shows that people will have to be on their own initiative to grasp their opportunities, or they will just disappear in the overgrown society. Maggie put all her faith in Pete and hope he can bring her a bright future; however, she was being abandoned and finally died at the dark corner, silently. Nellie, the one who grasps chances to live on, still enjoys her night. The author tries to remind us the importance of being independent rather than being dependent on others. Maggie represents the dependent part of human nature, she died, while Nellie is the independent character, she lived. At the very deep corner of the society, people have to rely on themselves to live on, because even the closest person can betray you. One and the most important key to live is being independent on yourself.

The hiss of razor-sharp blades chopping up the ice, the sweat running down my face, teammates impatiently waiting to receive the puck, the fans cheering for their favorite team, and the biting chill that spread the coaches’ voice throughout the rink. All of those unique feelings and many more unforgettable experiences are hiding under the simple term “Ice Hockey”.

In my childhood, when I had uncontrollable bursts of energy and legs that never got tired, I understood that I wanted to play a sport so I could relieve my constant urge to move. I did not know what to choose because of thousands of different possibilities. Then one night, as I was staring into the empty winter streets of Sofia, I noticed the many different snowflakes that were carefully taking their place on top of each other on the ground. I went out to the balcony and started running with my mouth open, trying to catch as many snowflakes as I could. I was barefoot, so even though I was doing my best not to slide, the friction between my small feet and the hard tiles was not enough, and this resulted in my first experience with the concept of skating.

A few weeks later, I was watching the lightning quick and unpredictable violent dance performed by the bodies of the players. When I first saw the fast-paced game, I understood that it was for me; however, I noticed something else that made me think twice about my wish to tell my father that I wanted to start training. Everyone who played was so big, and my imagination of a seven-year-old kid could not place myself on the rink, next to the other players who seemed as big as mountains. I started doubting whether I really wanted to try playing hockey, but then I saw a group of children who were about my age, running around with their small sticks, that looked like toys compared to the ones the men on the ice were using. I realized that if other kids had the bravery to do it, then I had it too. I told my father to sign me up, and I noticed his worried smile, but he wanted to make me happy, so he called the coach.  I was given the opportunity of a lifetime, I found something that I loved. And so I began, practicing ice hockey with other children, who I saw as an obstacle between me and my goal to become the best.

Years later, it was the third period, and the game was extremely close. The score was tied up, with each team having scored three goals. My hockey club, “CSKA” was facing down the toughest team in our league, shorthanded and hours from home. Three minutes were left, but we did not even have time to look at the time because of the fast-paced decisions our coach was making. We did not have a lot of players, so he was forced to constantly change up, trying to give everyone a couple of minutes to breathe, before putting them back on.

I got the call to go back with one minute and thirty seconds left. We won the faceoff and I received a pass from one of my teammates. I took control of the puck and then looked up in order to see where the opposite’s team defense was. To my surprise, a badly placed defender left the path to the net unopposed. I forced my feet to skate as fast as possible, while I was stickhandling towards the goalie. I aimed to the best of my ability and I shot. It was probably one of my best shots ever. It went in the right top corner and as the net was absorbing the energy from the shot, I was already skating towards my team’s bench in order to celebrate with them. I was on top of the world. I could not be any hyped. At that moment, I realized that years ago, I had found something that makes me feel most alive, the experience that is ice hockey.

Divergence, the difference or conflicts in opinions, happens everywhere in our life. Mostly it is bilateral, which means both individuals or groups know they have different opinions, but occasionally it is not. In The Things They Carried, Tim O’Brien describes many distinctive scenes between the soldiers and the civilians to contradict the divergence between their values. Firstly, civilians normally don’t understand soldier’s true feelings toward the war; moreover, civilians tend to underestimate the predicament in the war, thus, they can not really feel the emotions soldiers have suffered; lastly, although normal civilians seem to appreciate what soldiers did, they can not really understand what war really means to a soldier.

O’Brien depicts many touching scene in this book reflecting the divergence between the civilians, and the very first thing they can not understand is how soldiers think about the war. Some soldiers feel honored to be able to serve for their country; however, only some of them. O’Brien lives in “a place where tradition counted” (O’Brien 43), they just believe that it’s honorable to fight for your country; however, O’Brien has his dream, he wants to learn more knowledge as a scholar instead of going to war and possible dies in the combat for no reason. He also anticipates that if he actually run away from the war, people will sit around a table with “coffee cups poisoned”, and “conversation slowly zeroing in on the young O’Brien kid” (O’Brien 43). O’Brien knows that these civilians will criticize and mock him as a deserter and probably defame his whole family, but he really wants to seek for his dream. That is probably why O’Brien was so touched and upset when he “killed” that young Vietnam scholar-like man. Because he believes this young Vietnam man is brave enough to run away from the army to achieve his dream, but he can not, and he nips the bud personally. His past memory pushes him to a dead silence. Everyone has their own pasts, every soldier experiences different things, and every one of them will sometimes get emotional triggered for certain circumstances.

That’s the second reason why people are really misunderstanding soldier’s feeling, without experiencing their unique pasts, they can not even empathize, to say nothing of sympathy. O’Brian shared a lot of his war memories with his daughter, Kathleen, but when he led her to his old combat where his best friend Kiowa died, Kathleen felt disguised: “What a mess, all that gunk on your skin, you look like… wait’ll I tell mommy, she will probably make you sleep in the garage” (O’Brien, 179). In contrary, O’Brien really began to recollect his memories about the war, and about Kiowa.  He had a lot to tell Kiowa, but all he could do was “slap hands with water” (O’Brien 178). O’Brien tried his best to interact with his past, while he needs to overcome foreignness at the same time. The brotherhood to him is probably the most significant memory from the war, but even the closest daughter, Kathleen, can not empathize his emotion, how could those normal civilians understand soldiers like him. That is probably why people also tend to underestimate the predicament of the situation in the war, because they don’t understand how urgent the accident could be.

Spectators or criticizers always have numerous time to find countless kinds of excuses to blame on, to regret; however, this doesn’t apply to soldiers. As Tim O’Brien writes: “In the field, though, the causes were immediate. A moment of carelessness or bad judgement or plain stupidity carried consequences that lasted forever” (O’Brien 170). Soldiers will have no time to regret, to blame or to complain, because even if they are in a second of daze and react late, the cost might be devastating. Therefore, they have to decide the best solution in a very second and perform it. O’Brien contracts civilians’ thoughts from blaming “the river”, “the rain”, “who made the war” to “the God”, “who switched the channels at the mention of politics”, or even “an old man in Omaha who forgot to vote”(O’Brien 169). He believes civilians tend to blame other things and find reasonable and unreasonable excuses for themselves and try to lessen the impact from the war to themselves, but what they don’t understand is how huge the impact would be toward these soldiers; for instance, tons of soldiers developed PTSD after they returned from the combat that they can not work and live like a normal citizen anymore.

Tim O’Brien believes that soldiers and civilians have completely divergent values and opinions because civilians usually do not understand how soldiers think about the war and their true emotions under the war. Moreover, civilians have different core value from soldiers because they will find themselves excuses while soldiers have to face challenges in a very moment.

It is always difficult task to distinguish being moral from being nice, just like it is hard to define tomato a fruit or vegetable. People usually follow their own moralities, but the truth is, foremost, morality is the normal rules in the society of being nice. In the Puritan period, it was already hard to say if people during that time are moral or not due to the religious faith. In both The Scarlet Letter and The Crucible, people discussed morality through religion. For instance, John Proctor expresses the necessity of guarding his own name, for which pays his own life. Furthermore, Dimmesdale also sacrifices his life to keep the morality he follows in order to protect Hester and Pearl. Society today seems to be less moral since 1600, especially nowadays, because people nowadays lack of self-reliance and are full of concerns; moreover, money influences greatly, more so than in Puritan times.  

People nowadays tend to trust others more than themselves. Several factors like timidity, reverence, and mostly consistency discourages people from living for themselves. It seems right for people, who live under a large community and society, to be consistent with others; however, the potential problem is that the cage of the society limits your wings to stretch out. They just try to stay in the cage having a nice and comfortable life rather than taking risks escape from the cage and live under the extensive sky. Emerson describes people with consistency as: “hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.” Emerson further interprets the consistency as: “a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them” (Emerson), which explains why people tend to be consistent with the society in order to prevent disappointing others. However, in Puritan times, religion gives people impetus to achieve their goals. People in that time period believe that God will bless them as long as what they are doing is legitimate and meaningful for themselves. With the faith in God, Dimmesdale finally stands with Hester and Pearl and announces against the whole community for being an adulterer: “Thy strength, Hester; but let it be guided by the will which God hath granted me. This wretched and wronged old man is opposing it with all his might!” (Hawthorne 231). Dimmesdale states that God gives him the courage to admit his faults. Actually, comparing to hide the secret and suffer from the secret, Dimmesdale relieves himself by admitting his sin rather than let Hester shoulder all the infamy. It brings to light that standing beside Hester has higher morality for Dimmesdale. Just like people in Puritan times, although they may not notice, their behaviors not only changed their own life but also other individual’s or even the whole society’s life into a better stage by the high moral standard. However, without staying alone at the scaffold considering about his life, Dimmesdale may not be able to stand beside Hester in the later scene.

It is extremely important for humans to be alone sometimes to think about their past, present, and future so that they can have better cognition on themselves. Having a space for people to recollect their lives and plan their future is crucial. Thus, find your own place away from the society is the process of refreshing your souls and entertain yourself. In our society, there are too many for people to be concerned about, such as friends, families or works. As Emerson states in On Nature: “The name of the nearest friend sounds then foreign and accidental: to be brothers, to be acquaintances, master or servant, is then a trifle and disturbance.” (Emerson). Even the existence of families is also a disturbance to him while he is alone in the woods; it illustrates the huge impact of the huge amounts of relations people have in modern society, which prevents them from thinking about their morality, and these correlations between them interferes with making decision. Just like personal relationships, there are too many trade relationships between people in modern society that people need to worry about. In contrast, in Puritan times, people mostly live for themselves. Without having complex relationship between each other, it is easy for people at that time period to be moral, which means do their own decisions. If John Proctor has more brothers or sisters or if he is entangled with more interests, it would be questionable if he could still say: “I say-I say- God is dead!” (Miller 119). Proctor did establish his morality through these words of not being under the same belief with the disdained judges, but the cost was his life. In Puritan times, people take the words about their morality so seriously, death might be the most glory way to prove their morality standard.

Our society has suffered moral corruption based upon the establishment of material society, since puritan times, Krugman describes our current society: “we have become a society in which less-educated men have great difficulty finding jobs with decent wages and good benefits. Yet somehow we’re supposed to be surprised that such men have become less likely to participate in the workforce or get married, and conclude that there must have been some mysterious moral collapse caused by snooty liberals” (Krugman). The “snooty liberals” cause the society to focus more on material wealth rather than moral wealth. There are more people like these “snooty liberals” that judge others upon their materials conditions instead of moral conditions. Furthermore, human are social animals; therefore, it is difficult for people to survive out of the society. The necessary good to live in the society will be exchangeable currencies, which will be money. Without question, money is a bad thing in our society.  Most people trying to get a high degree or honorable experience is to later on have a good-looking job with well-paid salaries. Money is the devil itself that drives people to the inferno of laboring for money. Comparatively saying, people in the Puritan times tend to live for themselves instead of laboring for money. Money is a good thing for them because they regard money as a gift from the God. They are pleasant to work because they believe they are working for God, and the money is paid by God. Therefore, in Puritan times, people are willing to work in order to earn money to somewhat improve their life. John Robinson commented, “The blessing of the Lord maketh rich.… And as riches are in themselves God’s blessings, so are we to desire them for the comfortable course of our natural and civil states.” (Ryken) John’s words show a clear difference between the morality for people from current society and the Puritan times. People will not complain about their work salary, they just consider the money as a present from God, they will work with a positive attitude. Nowadays people are more focusing on the money itself instead of really engaging in their work; thus, the morality standard has dropped from not only money itself but also the attitude toward life.

Through history, morality has adjusted a lot. People nowadays tend to behave with less self-reliance and personal cognition. In addition, the requirement of money sometimes forces people to do something opposing their morality. Thus, the current society has become less moral than Puritan times because people in that time period have their faith to believe in and are free from the shackle of money.

       Even if people may not realize, there will always be punishments for mistakes they have made. In the Scarlet Letter, Pearl will be the ultimate punishment throughout Hester’s life. Pearl not only reminds Hester about her sin and pasts, but Pearl also embarrasses Hester in her life. Last but not least, children are selfish to such an extent that they can’t endure any changes in their parents, even though the changes turn out to be good aspects.

Hester suffers from taking care of Pearl, because Pearl’s playful interaction with her will remind herself about her past and her sin. Pearl amuses herself with “Gathering handfuls of wild-flowers, and flinging them, one by one, ay her mother’s bosom; dancing up and down, like a little elf, whenever she hit the scarlet letter.” (Hawthorne, 87) Hester feels shame through her “first motion had been to cover her bosom with her clasped hands.” (Hawthorne, 87) This quote vividly depicted how Pearl plays with Hester and Hester’s reaction. Although Pearl was trying to amuse herself and share her joyfulness with Hester, as soon as Pearl hit the letter with flowers, subconsciously, Hester covered her letter with her hands in order to hide them. Because Hester feels ashamed by the behavior of Pearl, even though the objects are attractive flowers, she must remind herself about the day of punishment, the scene of shouldering the whole town’s malice on her back, on her own. The reminding of a punishment is considered to be a punishment, which is engraved deeply in Hester’s mind; therefore, Hester’s interaction with Pearl, although it is out of good will, causes her to blame and regret on herself. Pearl brings trouble not only in the daily interactions, but also in serious occasions.

Hester is greatly embarrassed by Pearl for her intentional naughty behaviors sometimes. When Mr. Wilson asks Pearl about who made you, her answer actually promotes the revelation of the relationship between Hester and Dimmesdale. After putting her finger in her mouth, Pearl’s answer was finally spoken, “[I] had not been made at all, but had been plucked by [my] mother off the bush of the wild roses, that grew by the prison door” (Hawthorne, 100). Hester has taught Pearl that she is sent by the Heavenly Father, which is the perfect answer to prove that she has the ability to look after Pearl and raise Pearl up by herself. However, the child, after several refusals, decides to challenge the question on her own. Pearl says she was plucked off the bush of wild roses that grew by the prison door, which is where the public humiliation happened. Because roses have thorns, the process of plucking Pearl out of the bush must be really tough; therefore, intelligent Pearl is trying to express her feelings against the unfair treatment to Hester. She actually outsmarts herself due to the overestimation of the judges. After the willful response, Hester has to ask for supports from Dimmesdale, her lover under the mask, which raises the suspicion from Chillingworth. Chillingworth in turn later asks for another round of investigating Hester’s lover. The process is really torturous and heartbreaking to Hester, and can absolutely be regarded as a punishment for her. Mostly Pearl’s naughty behavior unintentionally harms Hester, but the cruelest punishment for Hester is brought by Pearl, intentionally.

Pearl disregarded Hester’s noticing heartbreak because she disregarded her mother. Children are selfish, they want all of their parents love for themselves. They can’t even bear any changes in their parents; for Pearl, it will be the scarlet letter. Just like the narrator describes: “The child turned her eyes to the point indicated; and there lay the scarlet letter, so close upon the margin of the stream, that the gold embroidery was reflected on it” (Hawthorne, 193). In this plot, Hester wants Pearl to recognize her father and play with him; however, Pearl resists regarding Hester as her mother without the scarlet letter. Even though Hester begs Pearl to come, she refuses until Hester put her letter back on. Pearl can’t accept a completely different Hester without the scarlet letter, although she is more beautiful than before. As long as Hester wears the scarlet letter, she can’t confidently be what she wants to be; thus, she has to choose to be herself or Pearl mother at some moments, which is a really cruel punishment for Hester.          

All in all, Pearl is like the shackles of sin on Hester, restraining her life. She is also like the clock hanging on her, reminding her about her sin. Pearl causes Hester troubles in both normal life and crucial occasions; moreover, she selfishness limits Hester to change her life wheels. Without noticing, Hester’s life has been significantly limited by Pearl, her precious daughter as the cruelest punishment.

The leaves were still swaying, the Charles River was still surging, and the planes were still roaring in the late autumn. The elegant lady with visible wrinkles stepped out the Logan international airport, dragging a giant and heavy suitcase. The moment she saw me waving toward her, a smile appeared on her delicate face, and the luggage wheel began to create more screech sounds.

“ Hey Mom.” I should be excited, because it will be the first thanksgiving that I can actually spend time with my family, but…

“Look at your mom, safely landed on the territory of America, maybe you should say something to praise your mom? Do you know how hard was the flight? It was definitely a hard flight. The first three hours, I couldn’t sleep; therefore, I…” she began her speech. Apparently, she didn’t suffer too much from the thirteen-hour flight. Maybe a little bit, she looks a little bit too energetic.

“Mom, let’s move your bag onto the trunk for now, we can talk on the car later. It is already 11 p.m., I want to get some sleep.” I interrupted her, not only because I wanted to get back to our apartment, but also if she keeps talking, maybe we will stay at the airport overnight.

“Ok, then let’s go, I can’t wait to see our house. Is my room nice and clean? How about yours? What about…” yeah, that’s my mom. A little bit talkative, but she is still the best mom in the world.

On our way back, I could finally have a moment of silence while she was talking to the driver. Glancing out the window, there was another car drive with us shoulder to shoulder. Seems like the family on the car was chatting about what they have underwent during the trip. About twenty minutes, we reached our destination. After saying politeness to the driver, I help my mom move her luggage into her room. She was still talking about the flight, although to be honest, all I thought at that moment was to finish it and go sleep; thus, I only responded with yeah, cool, maybe, sounds good. Seeing me like that, she gradually lost her interests to share her unique and wonderful experiences during the flight. Then, it was her first night to overcome the jet lag.

Before I went to sleep, I told her that my friends and I will go on a skiing trip tomorrow for two days leaving at 9; therefore, when I got up at 8:30, she was already in the kitchen having her breakfast. Like usual, my breakfast was prepared on the opposite seat. While we were having breakfast, she kept saying about how bad she slept last night, she woke up at 4 and never got back to sleep again; however, although I would really love to talk with her about the principles behind the half-day metabolic adjustment, I have to leave for the skiing trip. She was still adding the logs to the flame, but I was ready for my expedition to start. It so happened that my friends just came to pick me up, I quickly said goodbye to my mom, and stepped out the door.

The skiing trip was exciting and fantastic, like-minded friends can always find hilarious experiences to share. Without the nagging from my mom, I felt like my soul was completely polished by the snow. However, when I got back to my apartment, the first glance at the house, I saw my mom was sitting at the table, drinking her tea, flip her phone back, forward, and back, and forward. Her wrinkles felt more intense, her eyes were devoid of something, something I should’ve realized earlier. All of a sudden, she looked up, and she saw I was standing beside the door. Then, all of a sudden, her eyes were alive; her eyes suddenly focused on me. The same smile I’ve seen in the airport reappeared on her face, her brisk pace is so familiar, and her wrinkles bloomed, like flowers, like her. It was 7 o’clock, I’m back, and she is back.

I should give more sympathetic consideration to my mom at that night. It was hard for her, travel to a completely unfamiliar environment with an alien language, all for me. The greatness of motherhood was reflected on her, but I just overlooked her tiredness and exhaustion for my own adventure. She must feel really empty during the time I was not there. She has no friends to talk with there, and due to the jet lag, she can’t really talk with her friend in China either. I should at least send my concerns to her. I promise mom, I will always be there for you, like you are always there for me. Hey mom, I promise.

Being away from home, longing for family is a normalcy for most international students. Chinese students, who have had fed their stomach with pluralistic and delicious food, miss their food a lot. However, the one dish that always makes me to feel satisfied is simple, extremely simple: a normal egg fried rice.

Every time I go back home, the first thing my grandma cooks for me would always be the fried rice. Every time I ate the rice, I could feel my blood vibrating in my veins. Every time I finished the rice, grandma was always staring at me with a smile, an everlasting smile throughout my life.

My home was two blocks away from my grandma’s house; therefore, I have spent nearly half of my childhood in my grandma’s house. After school, my grandma would always appear at my school to pick me up and walk home with me. Every day, regardless of how bad the weather was, she would always stand there, right at the school’s gate, smiling at me. My grandma must have a magic bag, just like Doraemon’s pocket. Food, fruit or even toys, everything I wanted would hide in that small bag, but my grandma just smiled at me while I was enjoying them.

Saturday was always the day that grandma cooked the egg fried rice. The ingredients were simple: green onion, rice, egg, and sausage. The cooking process was simple, but what is in the rice is not simple. There is a magical flavor, the flavor that brought me back to the days in my grandma’s house. Before I study abroad, it tastes like homemade fried rice. However, last time I went back to her house, she cooked the rice for me. This time, I can tell she has put another sauce into the rice: it contains slight bitterness and sourness, but it has more of her flavor, the flavor that played the melody in my heart. I raised my head, she was looking at me with the everlasting smile. All of a sudden, I understood the ingredient of the sauce.

The old chairs, old bowls, old houses, old pots and my grandma, who was cooking in the kitchen. She has tiny eyes just like me, although everyone says I inherit that feature from my grandma. Actually, it is not only the eyes, my parents say that I am made out of the mold from my grandma. She is short, but sometimes she is gigantic. She only graduates elementary school, but she is the most knowledgeable person I’ve ever seen. she seems free but she is always busy. Most importantly, she loves me and I love her.

Don’t judge me on my love for my grandma, every grain of the fried rice reminds me of her. I know she will always be the harbor for me to rest, she will always be the kindest giant to hold my back, and she will never stop missing me, just like I never stop longing for her. She is maybe just a normal old lady in other’s opinion, but to me, she is my home. She will always cook the egg fried rice for me at home, she is my home. She is always the first one who open the door for me when I came back home, she is my home.

“ My Grandma, you are my home.”

The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway ch. 19 in class essay

Jake is sick, he is not able to be with the girl of his dreams because of it. He and his friends are all part of the lost generation, they are full of sadness and constantly travel and drink to escape their lives. In The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway, Jake works hard to find happiness in his life. The song, “Your Time is Gonna Come” by Led Zeppelin is Jake’s anthem in the end of the story because Jake is pure and happy once again after he washes himself clean of Brett.

The song sends a message of starting over and moving on. The Lyrics of the song say that he is tired of the life he has been living. It is not good for him and leaving is the best thing for them both. The message is he has to go and is no longer going to be around but you will be okay. This song relates directly to Jake’s position with Brett. Jake is so happy and hopeful without her, but when she is with him he is depressed.

After the fiesta, after Brett has left with Romero, Jake leaves and goes to France and then to San Sebastian. During this time he finds joy in the simple pleasures. In France Jake only talks to and tios a few people because he wants a few really good friends that will remember him rather than a lot of acquaintances he barely knows. Once he gets to the beach, the warm sand and the cold water; he reads and swims and enjoys life. While he swims he dives deep under water and is cleansed. He comes back up pure and happy, but then he receives a telegraph from Brett.

He leaves his happiness for Bretts problem and when he arrives Brett really isn’t in trouble she’s just lonely. Romero didn’t like her for who she was and she sent him away. Jake came running but with her he is not happy. She pulled him back to his depression and sadness. This song is the part of him that says he can’t do this anymore. He can’t just drop his happiness for her attention anymore. While sitting with Brett, Jake tries to drink again but Brett tells him not to. She doesn’t want him drunk. She wants him there for her. Throughout the novel Jake has always been waiting when she called but in San Sebastian he found happiness and is ready to be free from Brett.

The novel is about Jake and his friends, their relationships with each other and their lives as they try to find comfort and happiness. They are all often drunk and traveling to escape reality, on their vacations they enjoy themselves. But, when it all came to an end Jake found himself his best company on the beaches and in the water at San Sebastian. “Your Time Is Gonna Come” is his goodbye song to Brett and his past life. Now he can relax and find pleasure with himself.

This Boy’s Life & The Color of Water In class Essay

We all hear about or imagine the perfect American Dream, big, happy, house, working a good job or going to school and getting a good education. In our imagination or the stories we are told we can make the American dream exactly that but in both The Color of Water and This Boy’s Life living out this dream is harder than imaging it. Both of these memoirs refute our ideas of the American Dream because Toby and his mother go through a lot of hardships trying to get a hold of their lives and James and his family try to hide their lives.

Toby follows his mother as they move from town to town trying to find a job, house, and school that works for them. Toby’s mother decides she needs a husband, too. She is trying to build this family to the best of her ability; meanwhile, Toby is trying to find himself. He doesn’t do well in school, gets in fights, and plays with guns. The focus on this imaginary perfect world takes over and Toby’s mother works so hard to finds it she ruins it at the sametime. Toby is so young he needs his mother as he discovers himself so his happy childhood is also lost. Toby’s mother ends up marrying Dwight who takes advantage of them both. Dwight threatens Toby’s mother when she tries to leave and forces Toby to work but to find this family, including a husband, a good job and a school for a good education the American dream in lost and Toby grows up with very little support from parental figures.

The Color of Water is another example of ideas of the American Dream falling apart. james’s mother tries to forget her past and create a new life for herself. She marries a black man, starts a family, and works hard getting all of her children to school and then through college and some she even gets through graduate school. Although she does this, her children grow up without knowing her making it hard for them to get to know themselves. She thinks that if she satisfies the American Dream her family will be happy and successful, but as usual they face hardships and a house, job and good education aren’t enough. James’s father and stepfather die which stunts the family but the biggest stunt is the family needs to know who they are. They can’t hide behind an education. After James’s stepfather dies he doesn’t do well in school and starts to get in trouble with his friends. It is not until his mother shares her story that he can understand her and himself. Once he hears her story they can relate and he is proud of his different yet amazing mother.

For both James and Toby the perfect American Dream was nowhere near how the grew up. Both of their mothers tried very hard but focused to much on school, family and a job to notice they needed to be more of a parent to their children. The stereotypical American Dream that we all think of is very rare to live so instead we should make our own real American Dream. It is impossible to match what we create in our imagination. Toby’s and James’s families did not live our ideas of the American Dream.