This is how I feel

Posted on May 22, 2019 by 20dangh
Image result for how are u

Whenever someone asks me: “How are you?”

I always take a moment to think of the answer

And by the time it’s on the tip of my tongue,

The person has already left.

I wonder how can we be so carelessly caring?

How could you spit out “How are you” and expect an “I’m fine” in return

As if it’s a standard, a usual thing, a common sense.

How are you?

I’m not okay.

I’m depressed and anxious.

I’m a combination of 3:21 a.m. and late night shower thoughts.

I met a girl that makes my hands want to write poetry,

But her hands want to rip my heart open.

I take naps for sleeps, and sleeps for naps.

My mouth can’t distinguish the taste of food and panic attacks.

My body feels like a battlefield, every will to live is a soldier, falling one by one.  

But since you’re expecting me to say “I’m okay”, I’ll say I’m okay because I’d rather numb my feelings than explaining it to you.

Because a soldier cannot explain how it feels like to be in war to a person at home.

Because a snowman cannot explain to a scarecrow how it feels like to melt on a sunny day.

Because a doctor would want to know how a patient feels like, but cannot feel the same way.

Because after I’ve gathered enough words to tell you how I am, you’ve already walked away.

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