By Cael Mulley ’27 and Vaughn Ross ’27
(This is a response to an all school survey that asked students/teachers about their recent watches and their New Year’s Resolutions)
Hey Hebron Academy, I just looked at all of the responses to the Movie/Show survey. Your recent watches are so boring! Every 2 out of 3 people watched Squid Game and Wicked. Someone didn’t even finish the form. That same person’s New Year’s Resolution was to try to stop using Tik Tok, so maybe next time, consider actually finishing the form before going back to scrolling. One person said they recently watched Solo Leveling and they stated “It’s an anime, I don’t watch TV shows.” What!? I don’t understand, if it’s not a tv show, then what is it? And why did you put it for tv shows? At least they had a good New Year’s Resolution. Their resolution was to stop eating snow when skiing. I was wondering who you are, but I guess I’ll find out on Mountain Day after I follow the trail you left in the snow with your teeth.
Anonymous 1 wrote that they haven’t watched any movies over break and their New Year’s Resolutions were to explore new places and make new friends. These are some good resolutions, but how about you make some new friends and watch Epic Movie (2007), it should be an EPIC time together. All jokes aside, that movie hurt my brain. I think I lost 25 brain cells from it, but it’s still better than watching Squid Game or Wicked. Anonymous 2 watched the movie Killers, which I’ve never heard of, and watched the show Love Island. Maybe I’ll watch it sometime. Their New Year’s Resolution was to make their bed everyday. Solid resolution and you’re never too old to start doing that. Anonymous 3’s resolution was to say less brain rot. This is the best New Year’s Resolution of the entire form, although, once you start saying brain rot you never stop, so good luck sigma! Anonymous 4 decided to turn in a blank form. You really helped us out. I wish I could repay you for your kind deeds.
Anonymous 5 watched the movies: Revenge of the Sith, The Muppet Movie, Moulin Rouge, Les Mis, Sound of Music, Rocketman and Bohemian Rhapsody. They watched the shows: How I met your Mother, Queer Eye, Seinfeld, Heartstopper, and Get Back. Revenge of the Sith was personally the only good thing on that list from my very biased opinion, out of every show and movie you watched. You could have aced your next test if you spent more time studying instead of watching all of these, these, interesting works of television. I have respect for you though because you were able to watch them all so quickly and actually remember the names of each and every one of them.
Anonymous 6’s New Year’s resolution was to run 25 miles a week. Not sure how much time you have on your hands, but if you’re able to do that, then you’re able to watch Epic Movie as well, and trust me after watching it you might start running 30 miles a week, or you might leave the country. Lastly, Anonymous 7 watched, Figth Club and Famely Guy. No my spelling isn’t wrong, you’re wrong; these are the best shows ever. Here is some advice on what to watch next break if you have time: Fifth best watch would be White chicks. Fourth best watch is Tag. Third best watch is Van Wilder for the people over 16 years old out there. Second best watch is Tropic Thunder. Finally in number one is, Epic Movie of course. It’s infectious and it’s taking over my brain. That’s all Hebron Academy, hope to see all your responses next time in the next Movie/Show review, take care.